I love God. I know He has always loved me. He never fails me in any ways. I really enjoyed my birthday celebration over the weekend. I was celebrating it in advance at Bintan. Wow, the beauty of the nature was so therapeutic. On the Saturday night, the endless blanket of dark sky was brightened up by the numerous bright stars beautifying the otherwise dark and dull sky. We were very blessed to be driven around by a friendly driver who gave us discount for his service and patiently waited for us to finish each of our activities before he could drive us to every destination. When we were in the car with the windows opened for the gentle breeze to sweep gentle across our faces and fixing our eyes to admire the awe of the sky filled with the bright stars, the music in the background was playing to add spice to the experience. As the breeze was blowing on my face, I could feel God's gentle breath blowing on me. The stars on the sky are God's gift for me, telling me life is filled with hope (stars) no matter how dark it may be.
My friend treated me seafood at a kelong after a full aromatherapy massage. They chose the seafood. The kelong was quiet and what we heard was just our laughter. I really enjoyed such meals together as it was organized by them out of their love for me to celebrate my birthday. I just had to sit down and eat with the sea surrounding us. I have always loved the sea as I am a person who gets agitated very quickly with very sensitive nerves and senses. So, the water surrounding me will never fail to soothe and comfort me. I thank God for celebrating my birthday and cheer me up through my friends who took the pain and time to arrange such wonderful trip for me. Though that place was a rather run down kelong, the joy was there because of a joyful meal with friends who truly love and never leave me though Iam going through tough times and my mood can get very unstable at times. God is telling me I am not alone through these friends who spent their time with me as they could have spent their time doing things that they like or spent their time with their loved ones and families. Thank you, friends!! Really appreciated deep within me. That was also my first time when I left all the planning and guiding through the trip to my friends. I simply tagged along according to their plans. That was the time when I learnt to let go of control and let the others lead. It was so relaxing to let go and simply tag along.
In the last morning, we went to the beach after a sumptous breakfast buffet at the resort. Once again, God never failed to embrace me with awe and warmth with the seaview. I was embasked in the warmth of God's embrace through the sun. I was soaking my legs in the water and enjoyed God's whisper of love through the waves. That was the first time when I came so near the fishes and hermit crabs. They were all around my legs in the water. The water was really very clear. It draws to my mind about the living water. The seawater was so clear that I could see me legs clearly in the water. It reminds me of purity. When a person is pure with the living water in him, he will see things clearly with wisdom as this wisdom out of the purity of the living water provides such clarity to see people and things with discerment. And, this living water will soothe a person and the person is able to live with such peace within as the living water is working freely in him. My friends and I were admiring the hermit crabs and fishes. When we saw something awesome, we would inform one another not to miss that sight. This taught me that good things are meant to be shared. Only through sharing, the joy may magnify and goes deeper within as the Love through sharing with others is expanding.
One thing pissed me off early in the morning at the restaurant yesterday. We were having breakfast buffet there. When I saw a table full of food in front of me just one metre away from me, I could not help it but complained to my friends. Guess what? There waa a couple who had left the table of food intact and left the restaurant. I just could not keep it to myself. The table of food wasted was an eyesore to me. My friends were also pissed off by it. During the night before, the driver was driving us around and we went through a few areas where the poor were living. When we saw that table of wasted food the last morning, we got even more pissed off as that table of food could have fed a poor family in that area for at least two days. I really wonder what kinds of values have been passed on to the the couple who wasted food in such manner. This really shows the-world-revolves around-them-mentality. Why can't they open their hearts and minds to see how poor people are struggling around that resort and stop wasting food? Even the service crew shook her head as she was clearing the table. Sigh! To me, it's what the f**k! Nevertheless, I still enjoyed my breakfast with my friends and other people in the restaurant. I was sharing with my friends I have always dreamt of opening a cafeteria as I enjoy seeing people eating with smiles with their loved ones and friends. I remember doing canteen duties in the church. I really love those moments when I was doing canteen duties with the youths. I enjoyed seeing the parishioners eating and chatting happily with one another, building bonds. I enjoyed the duties so much that my youths always had to stop me from overworking. Not that I was noble or kind. It was just that I enjoyed doing the duties so much that I just could not stop. I experienced joy deep within as what I had done in the canteen was giving the parishioners the comfort and space to bond with one another through meals together. My friends were joking with me. They asked me not to offer buffets for my cafeteria as I would go forward to scold people who waste food. Wah lau! My friends are really crappy lo...I think I will have to close down my cafeteria within two days if I were to do that. Am I really such a tigress? Mind you. I am born in the Year of Horse. So, I am a horsy. Don't you think that I look like a horse with a big mouth and teeth? Whahaha....
More birthday celebration coming along the way! Can't believe I am hitting 33 soon. Boo hoo....Lao liao. All my wrinkles and flabby arms and tummy and big hips are showing. I am not even married and given birth yet. Never mind lah. Other than friends who have celebrated my birthday with me, I would also like to thank my friends who have been spending time with me and advising me for the past few days. Thank you for your presence and words. I have thought things through. Time to stop running. All of you have been speaking the same messages which I believe comes from God. I am more assured of what I have been thinking inside my head but just lack of the courage to face it. Thank you for pointing out my mistakes so that I can stop hurting the people concerned. Thank you for reminding me to stop running away. Thank you for your encouragement. I really thank God for such friends. Thank God for all the birthday gifts through these friends! Ok, I will start life anew. I will hang in there with God no matter how tough it is.
Ok, the lazy me is taking leave on this Wednesday to be away from work. Thinking of where I should go on that day. Now time to go back to the boring and dreadful paperwork...
With Love,
Elena
No comments:
Post a Comment