As a single, I can afford to go for many activities. I have started my first vocal lesson near my workplace yesterday. OMG! Breathing is my weak area again. I used to learn swimming but did not complete the lessons as I kept on panting and the coach could only concentrate on a few students which I thought I was wasting my money and time. For my first lesson which was the second one for the rest of them since I was absent from the first one, there were many areas to focus on from breathing, shape of the mouth, consistency in singing out certain words given to us, etc. Really felty my chest bursting at times. The instructor was quite attentive to everyone's progress. Ok, I shall continue with the vocal lessons.
Have been doing research on teambuilding activities. While going trhough them, I realize that there are so many things that I can enjoy as a single. I can always do things alone. I am thinking of courses on sailing (though I still can't swim), cooking (especially baking), picking up French again (have forgotten most words as I ahve not touched it for one year), pottery making, painting, keyboard, etc. Have already got used to being alone. So, even if I am not called to get married, can always find activities to do. Can also look for volunteering activities. There are so many things to do in life.
In this morning, I was reading an article on a 82 year old woman pestering a 67 years old priest who is married with two children. It set me thinking why she still wants to do that at her age. Maybe, she is lonely? I am not sure. Obviously, the man does not love her at all. In fact, I think he has done the right things. He is married with children and it would never be possible for them to be together even if he likes her. One thing I find disgusting is the old woman claimed that they had physical intimacy with him. I do not believe so. Even if he wants to have physical intimacy, he could have gone for the prettier and younger ones.
Personally, though I am a woman, I find most women become monsters when they cannot get the men they want. They will come up with all sorts of accusations and ploys against the men they could not get and the other women who are close to them out of friendships. I really do not understand why. Even if they can follow the men day and night, are they sure that these men's hearts are with them? Aren't they tired of such ploys and chasing? Really very complex. I rather leave such complicating relationships and not get involved at all. These women can continue to crack their heads to continue to set up plots against other people. More people will be hurt along the way if they do not change.
Sometimes, the men involved also play a part at times. If they are practising celibacy or are married, they should draw clear boundaries with the women in their lives other than their spouses. Unless the men are called to marry the women, the men should keep certain distance away from these women who try to seduce them or have illegitimate affairs with them while maintaining as friends. If they know they cannot control themselves from getting involved with these women in the wrong acts or ill intentions, they should just cut off from all occasions of sins. I do come across men who still allow the women to follow them closely even if these women are hurting other innocent women around these men of their desires. Worse still, they also follow these women giving the wrong impression that they like these women. If they are leaders, they are leading his own people to sin with them. What is the point of leading double lives of appearing holy in front of the crowd and yet having illegitinmate relationships with some women behind? Does usch life allows the men to enter the narrow gate to the heaven? Might as well get married to have a legitimate relationship with a woman and lead life to the fullest with joy instead of just jumping into any relationships and drifting along in life. What kind of quality of life is that? Is that a life meant for us by God? In this case, I can only say that these men are trying to feed their own egos with these women around in these wrong relationships, further emphasizing on their own insecurities. I don't think I will marry such man as he can never lead me as my spouse in my faith and give me any security in my marriage since he is so insecure and not right with Gid and his relationships with other women. Most probably, they will still continue to flirt around with other women even after married to continue to feed their own egos. To me, even if the man can teach or preach or talk very well on God, he does not really grasp with the core of his heart what Love really is. Whe togh times come in a marriage, I would not be surprised that he would be the first person to leave me to the lurch and run to another woman.
I always believe that each man only has one woman meant for him from God if he is called to get married. Go through Genesis. God only gets Eve to be Adam's partner for it is not good for him to be alone. Nowhere in the bible can you find God has created many Eves for Adam in Genesis. The union must be sanctioned and bound with the covenant of matrimony by God. It is a blessing from God. Any other illegitimate relationships with other women will not be blessed by God for they are formed out of sins and out of man's self centeredness.
Life is meant to be led to the fullest. These relationships are too 'adventurous' for me to end up in hell. I also do not have the energy to have anything to do with such men and women. I am too simple for those ploys. Those women can get the prizes that they want. Whether these prizes' hearts have them or not, really good luck to these women. Maybe, that is the rich women's sports. They can afford to drive these men around, buy things for them, cook for them, 'protect' these men form other women, accompany them day and night, etc. I do not have the money, time and energy for such affairs. It is silly to get myself so miserable over a man who is not even worthy of my love while he is indulging into his inflated egos through the wrong relationships. I will continue to work hard and earn more money for my activities and travel around the world alone. I am happy to be simple. I have a few destinations in mind that I would like to explore alone for the next few years. Though lonely at times, I rather be alone than getting involved iwth any men to feed their egos. I believe if I am meant to get married, God will bless me with a man who marries me and truly loves me for the rest of my life. If I am called to be single, I will continue to work hard to earn more money and travel around the world with God in me and with me.
I am dead, man. I am bringing my colleagues to rail corridor along Upper Bukit Timah Road and walk on the track. Having stomach upset which causes my body system to be down and weak now. Hopefully, I can still have fun exploring with them and I am the organizer cum guide. Ok, adventure ahead!
With Love,
Elena
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