It is a very hectic week for me. Now, I am planning to get away from Singapore for a break in May after the major event as I am on the verge of breaking down as I have been handling many proejects with a lot of things going on in my private life. The SOEasy migration happened for two days during this week when all the staff in my department are changing their old computers to new ones and I had to attend to their problems and coordinate in the changes of schedules for some colleagues. It could be so bad that I was running up and down between the fifteenth and fourth floors; between the IS department and mine for two days. Moreover, it is also my peak period for the preparation of a major event which involves one of the Ministers where I am required to prepare papers and reports. I simp-ly had got no time to sit down and wirte the reports and papers and made careless mistakes. The worse thing was one or two staff refused to cooperate and I had to handle them, causing a lot of frustration and hindrance on the projects I am handling. Little did they realize that their self-centeredness had caused hindrance or delay in delivering certain projects generally when they ironically claimed that those projects are important. I lost my patience with one of them when she started to defend herself and continued to head her way home even as she could not contact the vendor and pushed the blame to me that I only hurried her to contact the vendor after lunchtime. The fact was that my reporting officer or her reporting officer had gone to her regarding such matter before lunchtime and we decided not to go to her again, trusting that she would do what was necessary. Obviously, her words of self defence and failure to contact the vendor and went home had proven otherwise. So, my report could not complete on time which hinders the whole project from moving on. Also, some bosses insisted on having their ways regardless of the situation. So, what can I say? This only drives me to be creative finding solutions to get what they want.
Nevertheless, what keeps me going strong are the colleagues who had helped me out by moving all the computers of the colleagues who happened to have meeting at the last minute during the stipulated time to Level 4. I did not ask them to help me. But, they just quietly helped me with their actions without uttering a word. What also touched me was that one of the colleagues, despite inconvenience to her work for the top management was willing to swop her timeslot of getting the new computer from morning to afternoon one with a boss who insisted on wanting the morning timeslot at the last minute due to her urgency to use her laptop with the arrangement of a last minute meeting with her boss. I was more than happy to keep on helping as much as I could though I was torn between my projects. I am also thankful that one of my teammates and reporting officer were supporting me in preparing the papers and reports for the major event. I experience God's Love through them. Somehow, deep within me, no words can express my appreciation towards them for such help without expecting any praises or recognition from anyone. When I thanked them, one of them actually thanked me for taking up my role for being an IT coordinator for the department and helping out. This is indeed paradise from these helpful colleagues without being calculative out of the hell from a few colleagues who were self centered.
I also learn that prayers do sharpen my awareness of God's Love through the people outside church. I see more clearly God's Love through these helpful colleagues with regular prayers. Though I still complain alot, I have also begun to be thankful for the help that I get out of these helpful colleagues. In my case, surprisingly, I see Christ more easily outside church in places like my workplace, family, social circle who are not even Christians. I am also very thankful that God does speak to me and teach me how to love more and more like a human through my daily interaction with people. I really appreciation the time when my family members, friends and even colleagues teach me things about relationships and learn to love instead of being too serious in my work and too task-oriented. Words of advice may not sound pleasant to my ears and yet they are essential for me to grow. If I choose to have them falling to my deaf ears, I can never grow. At least, these people bother to warn or advise me. They are my saint makers. I really appreciate them after I have bumped into many people who do not even bother to stop for awhile to care at all over the years.
How about you? Try to spend some quiet time to review your life. Give thanks to God for the people who take the risks of getting scolded by you through warning or advising you before you fall too deep or do it out of concern for your growth. Give thanks to people who offer you kind actions and words of encouragement and love. Give thanks to the people who quietly walk with you which you may not even realize. Give thanks to God for each day of your life that you have the blessings to be with your loved ones and friends. Only with a heart of gratitude, then a person can experience joy deep within anf lead life to the fullest. Such love is too overwhelming to be kept within. It can only be richer and richer through sharing. Only by being thankful, you will stay strong in the midst of all storms in your life as you know you are never going through them alone. No matter what, always give thanks to the Spirit of Love out of all the sharing with people in our lives. Giving thanks is an art to be appreciated. Simple but rich in Love.
With Love,
Elena
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The Wise Leader through Vulnerability with His People in Love
I have been in my current company for slightly more than 3 months. I am still dumped with more roles to the current 5 to 6 roles that I am holding on. Somehow, throughout my life, I seem to have to be called to multi task alot with tasks of totally different natures. I also don't know how I have survived till now. I think that is what I recognize by miracle with God, especially when I am easily distracted. No matter what, this has helped me to work smart and be creative to get all the tasks completed. But, it comes with a price. Somehow, I am too task oriented and tend to neglect interpersonal relationships. I am often called to leadership role unofficially be it in school, workplace, church, etc. I am even surprised that some of my reporting officers do come to me for advice at times. Nothing to be proud of. But, I am quite stressed out. If I give the wrong advice, the consequences would be dire as what they say and how they behave will affect many more people under them. That is why I must make sure that I keep close to God so that I will not lead others to hell wth me which also lead others to hell with us.
Leadership when called forth is never to be belittled or self centered. It may look glamorous and priviledged to be up there. But, often, it can be a lonely place if self centered. Over the years, God has been training me to be a more people leader, even through hard knocks. I remember there was an incident when I was a leader for a school project. We realized that one of my project mates did not do his part for that project just one hour before our submission. I was very angry and scolded him. Then, I took over and managed to complete that part on time for submission. After a few weeks, then I was told that his mum passed on during the period of time when our project was going to be due for submission. I felt sorry for him and guilty for my lack of understanding towards him before I opened my mouth to shoot him. That poor guy simply kept quiet and hid. My perfectionsitic streak as a leader got me into trouble. The tasks at hands became more important than the people under me. Even my team mates told me the standard that I had set for the project was too high for some of them to meet. Some of them got hurt. I had failed as a leader during those times as I had failed to take care of their growth and well being.
Many people are still coming to me for advice. Though I am not a leader in the church, many youths and people do come to me and confide in me. If I am not careful and not right with God, I may lead them astray or even lead them to go against others who do not agree with me. I know I am not a good person and yet I thank God for trusting me with these people so that while leading these people, I may also be transformed with them. It is not about me being so high up there impossible for them to reach. Some of my youths did tell me that certain leaders just behaved as if they were just too high up there for them to reach. They were also hurt that they were being judged and barred from serving in certain ministries. At the back of my mind, I am thinking, 'Does it help to drive these 'unqualified youths' out of the ministries and treat them as goats? Where do they go to after that? Where is Christ teaching? Why is Love? Why can't the leaders take time to mould them into leaders so that they may lead other youths who may be walking similar paths as them to the right path towards holiness?' Over the years, I discover that ultimately the leaders who reject them are the ones who are not growing and they tend to be the very ones who behave like the scribes and pharisees who
'tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues,greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation ‘Rabbi.’
They are the very leaders who inhibit the expansion the Kingdom of God. I did warn a few of these leaders subtly but they refused to listen. In the end, the groups almost could not survive under them. I also realize that the leaders that they choose in their groups tend to behave like them, choosing their so called 'elites' into their groups. Little do they realize that they are inhibiting the growth of their groups under them which thus hindering the expansion of the Kingdom of God. How can the groups grow creatively with breakthroughs if only all the like-minded people with similar backgrounds and social classes and wealth come together? It is just like putting all the hands of the body of Christ together without the other parts of the body. Jesus is definitely not the head in such groups as the leaders whom they have worshipped become the heads. It just shows the lack of faith in these leaders for God to take control. When looking into the private lives of these leaders at a deeper level, one should not be surprised that they tend to be insecure deep within and control freaks without much faith in God taking over the control. I am not saying that we choose any Tom, Dick or Harry or people who do not have the same vision and mission to serve into the groups. I am just saying that some people who are rejected and get hurt and come to me do have the desire to serve. After those leaders have left, I do see these people who have been rejected serving well in the ministries and growing happily with the others. Ultimately, the leaders who continue their ways of despising and kicking people out will never grow, inhibiting the expansion of the Kingdom of God. They continue to accept only people who agree with them and worship them, just like the scribes and pharisees with 'the salutation ‘Rabbi.’' from their worshippers. Transformation in these leaders will only take place if they start accepting and loving other people along the way and learning to work with the others outside their usual groups of 'elites', relying on the power of God to perform miracles, resulting in breakthroughs in the groups. This will thus strengthen their own faith with more and more confidence in God, surrendering more and more of themselves with more and more spaces in them for God to work through the Holy Spirit.
I have many flaws and try to improve. I know that I tend to be harsh when it comes to advising people as I tend to use my head alot. But, it is the heart that speaks right into the hearts of matters in people. My workplace has become a training ground for me to learn how to be more people-oriented. As a leader or counselor or advisor, I must be careful with my words. If not, I may lead people who are already very vulnerable and at the verge of suicide to feel more hopeless and kill themselves if I dash their little hope and comfort that they try to find from me with my reckless and harsh words and behaviour. Sometimes, I do come across cases where people are walking on the thin string of death and life where they look for me for hope and support. That is when I need to hang on to God even more tightly so that God will put words into my mouth to speak the words of hope out of Love to them without any harsh judgement. As mentioned, I tend to use my head alot which explains why I am not aware of being too harsh on my words. I am also not one who will know how to use bodily touch such as hugs or holding hands or patting on the shoulders of others to comfort people unless the other party request for a hug where I allow them to do so and become stiff or I force myself as prompted within my heart to to do so in desperate situations where some people are screaming for help or personal human touch. I am still learning.
All the leaders in any fields are also human beings, be they CEOs, ministerial leaders in churches, psychologists, doctors, counselors, etc. They are also learning. They also need feedback and support from the people under them so that they will grow with the people. It is up to the leaders if they choose to be self centered protecting their pride without learning from the others and loving at all or Christ centered to learn from Christ in the faces of the wise people with the courage to speak up when necessary under them out of Love. Always remember that leaders are not supermen who are just fictional characters created by the ideals of man. Wise leaders are often the people who are courageous to own their mistakes and are willing to learn from their mistakes and others so that they will grow and lead others to grow in Wisdom. They tend to be true to themsleves and others walking in truth. They take conscious efforts to spend more time with God and allow the Holy Spirit out of Love to guide them in their daily lives.
Recently I have read an article from the July-August 2010 issue of the Harvard Business Review magazine. It was an interview with the Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz on the challenges of leading a turnaround at the company he made a household name. The message of "We Had to Own the Mistakes" strikes out in the articles. Throughout the article, Howard Schultz kept on emphasizing on being true to the staff and the customers. It is about getting into the hearts of the customers for them to continue enjoying the true customized homely experience at Starbucks outlets where these outlets continue to be relaxing third places other than homes and workplaces without compromising the quality of the products and friendly services. Even the commercial world is adopting being walking in truth owning mistakes committed. What more for a Christian who should make conscious efforts to walk Jesus' Way, Truth and Life to pass through the narrow gates to heaven.
All of us are learning. Even the leaders in various fields are not exceptional. Now, the question is whether we extend the infinite mercy of God which God has forgiven us 'seventy-seven' times to the leaders who are struggling and making conscious efforts to change so that they learn and have the platforms or spaces given by all of us to grow and be transformed deep within and lead others to grow which thus, expanding the Kingdom of God out of Love from all of us as parts of the body of christ with Christ as the head. Before we start to judge our leaders, we should ask ourselves how we address them. Are they 'St (name)....."? If not, they are also in the midst of their walking towards holiness, struggling like all of us? :)
With Love,
Elena
Leadership when called forth is never to be belittled or self centered. It may look glamorous and priviledged to be up there. But, often, it can be a lonely place if self centered. Over the years, God has been training me to be a more people leader, even through hard knocks. I remember there was an incident when I was a leader for a school project. We realized that one of my project mates did not do his part for that project just one hour before our submission. I was very angry and scolded him. Then, I took over and managed to complete that part on time for submission. After a few weeks, then I was told that his mum passed on during the period of time when our project was going to be due for submission. I felt sorry for him and guilty for my lack of understanding towards him before I opened my mouth to shoot him. That poor guy simply kept quiet and hid. My perfectionsitic streak as a leader got me into trouble. The tasks at hands became more important than the people under me. Even my team mates told me the standard that I had set for the project was too high for some of them to meet. Some of them got hurt. I had failed as a leader during those times as I had failed to take care of their growth and well being.
Many people are still coming to me for advice. Though I am not a leader in the church, many youths and people do come to me and confide in me. If I am not careful and not right with God, I may lead them astray or even lead them to go against others who do not agree with me. I know I am not a good person and yet I thank God for trusting me with these people so that while leading these people, I may also be transformed with them. It is not about me being so high up there impossible for them to reach. Some of my youths did tell me that certain leaders just behaved as if they were just too high up there for them to reach. They were also hurt that they were being judged and barred from serving in certain ministries. At the back of my mind, I am thinking, 'Does it help to drive these 'unqualified youths' out of the ministries and treat them as goats? Where do they go to after that? Where is Christ teaching? Why is Love? Why can't the leaders take time to mould them into leaders so that they may lead other youths who may be walking similar paths as them to the right path towards holiness?' Over the years, I discover that ultimately the leaders who reject them are the ones who are not growing and they tend to be the very ones who behave like the scribes and pharisees who
'tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues,greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation ‘Rabbi.’
They are the very leaders who inhibit the expansion the Kingdom of God. I did warn a few of these leaders subtly but they refused to listen. In the end, the groups almost could not survive under them. I also realize that the leaders that they choose in their groups tend to behave like them, choosing their so called 'elites' into their groups. Little do they realize that they are inhibiting the growth of their groups under them which thus hindering the expansion of the Kingdom of God. How can the groups grow creatively with breakthroughs if only all the like-minded people with similar backgrounds and social classes and wealth come together? It is just like putting all the hands of the body of Christ together without the other parts of the body. Jesus is definitely not the head in such groups as the leaders whom they have worshipped become the heads. It just shows the lack of faith in these leaders for God to take control. When looking into the private lives of these leaders at a deeper level, one should not be surprised that they tend to be insecure deep within and control freaks without much faith in God taking over the control. I am not saying that we choose any Tom, Dick or Harry or people who do not have the same vision and mission to serve into the groups. I am just saying that some people who are rejected and get hurt and come to me do have the desire to serve. After those leaders have left, I do see these people who have been rejected serving well in the ministries and growing happily with the others. Ultimately, the leaders who continue their ways of despising and kicking people out will never grow, inhibiting the expansion of the Kingdom of God. They continue to accept only people who agree with them and worship them, just like the scribes and pharisees with 'the salutation ‘Rabbi.’' from their worshippers. Transformation in these leaders will only take place if they start accepting and loving other people along the way and learning to work with the others outside their usual groups of 'elites', relying on the power of God to perform miracles, resulting in breakthroughs in the groups. This will thus strengthen their own faith with more and more confidence in God, surrendering more and more of themselves with more and more spaces in them for God to work through the Holy Spirit.
I have many flaws and try to improve. I know that I tend to be harsh when it comes to advising people as I tend to use my head alot. But, it is the heart that speaks right into the hearts of matters in people. My workplace has become a training ground for me to learn how to be more people-oriented. As a leader or counselor or advisor, I must be careful with my words. If not, I may lead people who are already very vulnerable and at the verge of suicide to feel more hopeless and kill themselves if I dash their little hope and comfort that they try to find from me with my reckless and harsh words and behaviour. Sometimes, I do come across cases where people are walking on the thin string of death and life where they look for me for hope and support. That is when I need to hang on to God even more tightly so that God will put words into my mouth to speak the words of hope out of Love to them without any harsh judgement. As mentioned, I tend to use my head alot which explains why I am not aware of being too harsh on my words. I am also not one who will know how to use bodily touch such as hugs or holding hands or patting on the shoulders of others to comfort people unless the other party request for a hug where I allow them to do so and become stiff or I force myself as prompted within my heart to to do so in desperate situations where some people are screaming for help or personal human touch. I am still learning.
All the leaders in any fields are also human beings, be they CEOs, ministerial leaders in churches, psychologists, doctors, counselors, etc. They are also learning. They also need feedback and support from the people under them so that they will grow with the people. It is up to the leaders if they choose to be self centered protecting their pride without learning from the others and loving at all or Christ centered to learn from Christ in the faces of the wise people with the courage to speak up when necessary under them out of Love. Always remember that leaders are not supermen who are just fictional characters created by the ideals of man. Wise leaders are often the people who are courageous to own their mistakes and are willing to learn from their mistakes and others so that they will grow and lead others to grow in Wisdom. They tend to be true to themsleves and others walking in truth. They take conscious efforts to spend more time with God and allow the Holy Spirit out of Love to guide them in their daily lives.
Recently I have read an article from the July-August 2010 issue of the Harvard Business Review magazine. It was an interview with the Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz on the challenges of leading a turnaround at the company he made a household name. The message of "We Had to Own the Mistakes" strikes out in the articles. Throughout the article, Howard Schultz kept on emphasizing on being true to the staff and the customers. It is about getting into the hearts of the customers for them to continue enjoying the true customized homely experience at Starbucks outlets where these outlets continue to be relaxing third places other than homes and workplaces without compromising the quality of the products and friendly services. Even the commercial world is adopting being walking in truth owning mistakes committed. What more for a Christian who should make conscious efforts to walk Jesus' Way, Truth and Life to pass through the narrow gates to heaven.
All of us are learning. Even the leaders in various fields are not exceptional. Now, the question is whether we extend the infinite mercy of God which God has forgiven us 'seventy-seven' times to the leaders who are struggling and making conscious efforts to change so that they learn and have the platforms or spaces given by all of us to grow and be transformed deep within and lead others to grow which thus, expanding the Kingdom of God out of Love from all of us as parts of the body of christ with Christ as the head. Before we start to judge our leaders, we should ask ourselves how we address them. Are they 'St (name)....."? If not, they are also in the midst of their walking towards holiness, struggling like all of us? :)
With Love,
Elena
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Reflection on the Gospel Reading on the 17 March 2011
Mt 7:7-12
Some of us may take for granted this promise, ‘Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.’ Rather than looking at this promise by itself, it must come with what follows ‘If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.’ What we ask for may not be good gifts which may in fact pull us away from God in the long run. Can God grant us the desire to win more money at Casino, help us to have relationship with married people, fulfil our curse on others who have wronged us for us, etc.? Are these even good gifts to begin with? Do they lead us to live life to the fullest in Love? No. Before we even confront the priests with, ‘I thought in the bible, it has been mentioned,” Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”’, we should discern if what we are asking for will open the doors to heaven or to hell. Do they just satisfy our ever hungry and increasing appetite for things and people that are not helping us to grow in Love but leading us to be greedy and destroy our relationships with God and others or are we asking God to open the doors that lead us to the narrow gate to heaven, living life to the fullest even here in the world with deep joy within with the others and God?
With Love,
Elena
Some of us may take for granted this promise, ‘Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.’ Rather than looking at this promise by itself, it must come with what follows ‘If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.’ What we ask for may not be good gifts which may in fact pull us away from God in the long run. Can God grant us the desire to win more money at Casino, help us to have relationship with married people, fulfil our curse on others who have wronged us for us, etc.? Are these even good gifts to begin with? Do they lead us to live life to the fullest in Love? No. Before we even confront the priests with, ‘I thought in the bible, it has been mentioned,” Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”’, we should discern if what we are asking for will open the doors to heaven or to hell. Do they just satisfy our ever hungry and increasing appetite for things and people that are not helping us to grow in Love but leading us to be greedy and destroy our relationships with God and others or are we asking God to open the doors that lead us to the narrow gate to heaven, living life to the fullest even here in the world with deep joy within with the others and God?
With Love,
Elena
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Stronger Home after Each Disaster
Once again, the harsh cruelty of nature has just struck Japan with the killer earthquake and tsunamis. To date, there is a death toll of around 900 people and 10,000 people are unaccounted for. It sets me to ponder why God allows such natural disaster to take away lives that He so loves and creates. What is the point of creating them and yet allowing the cruelty of nature to take such fragile lives away? If I continue to pursue these questions along this line, no answers will ever satisfy me. It's just like asking which one comes first; the eggs which hatch the chicks or the hen which lays the eggs?
In life, all of us will experience our earthquakes and tsunamis. They will shake and sweep us off the tangent from our way to God and causes damage to our inner state of lives and even cracks which come in the form of hurts. Emotional turmoils, like tsunamis, may sweep us off to nowhere and we feel lost. We may experience such 'natural disasters' in the forms of the death or illnesses of the loved ones, broken relationships, unforgiveness towards people who have offended or wronged us, accusations and persecutions from others, injustice or abuses in any forms from someone, especially loved ones whom we have trusted so much, etc. During such times, we may have the tendency to ask why all these 'natural disasters' must happen to us and what we have done to deserve such treatment. We may even go on to doubt if God even loves us at all to allow us to suffer from such 'natural disasters'. Sometimes, when certain people look fine and calm on the surface, it does not mean that they are getting on fine as these people may tend to keep everything within and the storms are just turning them upside down deep within. Does that mean that by denying and pretending nothing happens help?
During this period of Lent, it is a solemn and reflective time for us to journey with the community in God to face the damages from the 'natural disasters' in our lives so as to be prepared to rejoice and truly celebrate in the Resurrection of Christ when the Easter Day comes so that we, too, will also be resurrected in hope from such damages.This period of Lent until Easter Day is meant for us to quiet down down and to examine deep within us and lift all the damages and cracks in our lives for God's Love to penetrate through the damages and cracks within us to the core of our being to be healed and be alive again. We may feel heavy on our feet to walk in our life journey at times. But, if we choose to surrender all the baggages, Jesus will carry us as his cross through our life journey. We do not have to walk alone.
Journeying with the community is important. Just like the aftermath of the killer earthquake and tsunamis in Japan, we can not deny that they need all the necessary assistance from people and government and even from other countries to rebuild their homes. For us, in our spiritual lives, we also need one another to rebuild our spiritual 'homes' within so that we will be more complete. Even hermits can never say that they only need themselves and nobody else from the fact that they also come from their mothers' wombs. They come from the births of people too. So, nobody is an island. Sometimes, the earthquakes and tsunamis in our lives teach us to be humble reminding us that we are not almight powerful and we need one another especially during such tough times to walk with us. We are not powerful by oursleves where such power may go out of control to get what we want as if we were gods and hurt others and ouselves along the way with no space in us for God since we would be so dangerously full of oursleves by then. They are precious lessons for us to learn that we need one another since our lives are so fragile and should treasure one another in our lives and never take for granted that the people in our lives are always there for us. They are gifts from God who will be taken away for our growth when called forth. Being vulnerable during such times allows God to work thorugh different channels such as through the quiet time before the Blessed Sacrament, Eucharistic celebration where the presence of Christ is there, Christ in the faces of people comforting and encouraging and walking with us, the bible, etc.
Howe much does one's pride cost? If we continue to be prideful denying that some aspects of our lives need God and others to help us, we are short-changing ourselves. We reject the gifts from God that God would have offered us through the help of others and Himself for us to grow and be more complete so that we can enjoy our blessings as healthy beings. He is always there. Before we lament and complain, we have to ask ourselves if God has really abandoned us. The fact that in Singapore, we see churches everywhere, weekday and Sunday masses are always available, we stay close to one another to give us chances to build relationships with one another, etc. tells us God is always there. It is up to our free will if we choose to shut ourselves off from them or choose to seek Him through them. I never believe in sitting there complaining and doing nothing. People who have come to me for advice would have known that I get irritated whenever they come to me and complain blaming anyone else and yet never try to do anything to improve on their lives. By blaming others does not mean that I am perfect. It just shows that I am immature pushing all responsiblities and blame on others. It just shows that I am a coward to own my actions and words and I can never grow to be more mature in my spiritual life. It may result in me only 5 years old in my spiritual life when I am actually 50 years old. All my behaviour and words will show that 5 year old of my spirtual life even if I am in my 50s. There is this spiritual author (which I can't remember who, maybe, Robert Baron) who mentioned that there are good people in this world. But Christianity offers us to be better people. So, why don't I embrace my faith in Christ as a gift from God and choose to be a better person instead of just being a good person?
I know surrendering and letting go can be difficult. I am currently facing the tsunamis in my life where I can't even sleep at night since the tsunamis in me is tossing me actively around. I am still hanging on to the faith that this tsunamis will stop tossing me one day just like any tsunamis which will stop at some point in each episode in the nature. I know that if I continue to hang on to this faith as my anchor in life, I will see the sun shining through and I will rebuild my home within with the help of God and others in life so that I can be stronger in life to face greater challenges just as I believe that the Japanese goverment and people will find ways to improve on the infrastructure and resources and areas to strengthen themselves if the disasters strike again. I always tell myself that if I let go of certain people and things in life when called forth, God will never fail to bless me manifolds. He is Love and will never fail. No matter what, I will never be short-changed as I am a beloved child of God whom God wants to mould into a being who is more and more like the image of Him.
With Love,
Elena
In life, all of us will experience our earthquakes and tsunamis. They will shake and sweep us off the tangent from our way to God and causes damage to our inner state of lives and even cracks which come in the form of hurts. Emotional turmoils, like tsunamis, may sweep us off to nowhere and we feel lost. We may experience such 'natural disasters' in the forms of the death or illnesses of the loved ones, broken relationships, unforgiveness towards people who have offended or wronged us, accusations and persecutions from others, injustice or abuses in any forms from someone, especially loved ones whom we have trusted so much, etc. During such times, we may have the tendency to ask why all these 'natural disasters' must happen to us and what we have done to deserve such treatment. We may even go on to doubt if God even loves us at all to allow us to suffer from such 'natural disasters'. Sometimes, when certain people look fine and calm on the surface, it does not mean that they are getting on fine as these people may tend to keep everything within and the storms are just turning them upside down deep within. Does that mean that by denying and pretending nothing happens help?
During this period of Lent, it is a solemn and reflective time for us to journey with the community in God to face the damages from the 'natural disasters' in our lives so as to be prepared to rejoice and truly celebrate in the Resurrection of Christ when the Easter Day comes so that we, too, will also be resurrected in hope from such damages.This period of Lent until Easter Day is meant for us to quiet down down and to examine deep within us and lift all the damages and cracks in our lives for God's Love to penetrate through the damages and cracks within us to the core of our being to be healed and be alive again. We may feel heavy on our feet to walk in our life journey at times. But, if we choose to surrender all the baggages, Jesus will carry us as his cross through our life journey. We do not have to walk alone.
Journeying with the community is important. Just like the aftermath of the killer earthquake and tsunamis in Japan, we can not deny that they need all the necessary assistance from people and government and even from other countries to rebuild their homes. For us, in our spiritual lives, we also need one another to rebuild our spiritual 'homes' within so that we will be more complete. Even hermits can never say that they only need themselves and nobody else from the fact that they also come from their mothers' wombs. They come from the births of people too. So, nobody is an island. Sometimes, the earthquakes and tsunamis in our lives teach us to be humble reminding us that we are not almight powerful and we need one another especially during such tough times to walk with us. We are not powerful by oursleves where such power may go out of control to get what we want as if we were gods and hurt others and ouselves along the way with no space in us for God since we would be so dangerously full of oursleves by then. They are precious lessons for us to learn that we need one another since our lives are so fragile and should treasure one another in our lives and never take for granted that the people in our lives are always there for us. They are gifts from God who will be taken away for our growth when called forth. Being vulnerable during such times allows God to work thorugh different channels such as through the quiet time before the Blessed Sacrament, Eucharistic celebration where the presence of Christ is there, Christ in the faces of people comforting and encouraging and walking with us, the bible, etc.
Howe much does one's pride cost? If we continue to be prideful denying that some aspects of our lives need God and others to help us, we are short-changing ourselves. We reject the gifts from God that God would have offered us through the help of others and Himself for us to grow and be more complete so that we can enjoy our blessings as healthy beings. He is always there. Before we lament and complain, we have to ask ourselves if God has really abandoned us. The fact that in Singapore, we see churches everywhere, weekday and Sunday masses are always available, we stay close to one another to give us chances to build relationships with one another, etc. tells us God is always there. It is up to our free will if we choose to shut ourselves off from them or choose to seek Him through them. I never believe in sitting there complaining and doing nothing. People who have come to me for advice would have known that I get irritated whenever they come to me and complain blaming anyone else and yet never try to do anything to improve on their lives. By blaming others does not mean that I am perfect. It just shows that I am immature pushing all responsiblities and blame on others. It just shows that I am a coward to own my actions and words and I can never grow to be more mature in my spiritual life. It may result in me only 5 years old in my spiritual life when I am actually 50 years old. All my behaviour and words will show that 5 year old of my spirtual life even if I am in my 50s. There is this spiritual author (which I can't remember who, maybe, Robert Baron) who mentioned that there are good people in this world. But Christianity offers us to be better people. So, why don't I embrace my faith in Christ as a gift from God and choose to be a better person instead of just being a good person?
I know surrendering and letting go can be difficult. I am currently facing the tsunamis in my life where I can't even sleep at night since the tsunamis in me is tossing me actively around. I am still hanging on to the faith that this tsunamis will stop tossing me one day just like any tsunamis which will stop at some point in each episode in the nature. I know that if I continue to hang on to this faith as my anchor in life, I will see the sun shining through and I will rebuild my home within with the help of God and others in life so that I can be stronger in life to face greater challenges just as I believe that the Japanese goverment and people will find ways to improve on the infrastructure and resources and areas to strengthen themselves if the disasters strike again. I always tell myself that if I let go of certain people and things in life when called forth, God will never fail to bless me manifolds. He is Love and will never fail. No matter what, I will never be short-changed as I am a beloved child of God whom God wants to mould into a being who is more and more like the image of Him.
With Love,
Elena
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust. I am nothing without the breath of Love
Things have managed to die down for awhile before I start charging for a major event and a few projects. While I am waiting for the papers and emails to be cleared by my DD who will be away for a few days, this gives me an opportunity to slow down abit for some reflection.
I was chatting to a friend last night till one plus in the morning. It set me wonder why I am working so hard. (Ok, my mind multi tasks alot. While talking to her, my mind is also racing through al lot of things.) For what? What do I earn in the end? Am I really happy? Though I may have earned more money and got to higher position in the corporate world, am I really happy inside? The answer is, ironically, the emptiness within me is getting louder and louder. Have been reading through people's blogs and spiritual articles as part of my quiet time with God to get to know this Heavenly Father more. As today is the Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of Lent period for us, my colleague came in with the ash marked as a cross on her forehead without her realizing that the cross was quite prominent to be even seen from far. I guess this serves as a reminder to me that I am just dust without the breath of life. This breath of life comes from Love. And, I am loved which explains my existence.
How often from time to time, in the midst of activities and pursuing what I want, have I forgotten the beauty of simplicity? I think the emptiness which becomes louder and louder as I am achieving more and more wants is God's calling out to me that I am getting more and more spiritually drier within and going towards direction further and further away from Him as I am filling myself with the material wants which can only be filled by the living water. Anyway, anything and anybody in this world can easily perish with time. Why am I so silly to focus and settle myself on things that will perish instead of hanging on to Love who is eternal? Of course, I am not saying that I should stop working and just studying God's Word. What I am referring to is my focus is not really right by the fact that the emptiness within me is getting louder.
Only when I allow to slow down and appreciate this breath of life from God as a gift to me every time I breathe, I will remember why I exist. I exist because of Love out of Love. I must spend some quiet time to allow this breath to be enjoyed. Have you ever seen people rushing through a fine dining? No, right? That is the idea. What's more? This breath of life is free of charge. I do not need to earn it. It is a gift from God to me. Isn't it romantic that I am receiving this gift of breath every second of my life? Recently, it is recommended by various sources that meditation does benefit a person's well being. Why is that so? Because it helps a person to be centered, to take a break away from the hassles of life for the whole body to rest. For Christians to meditate or to simply spend quiet time with God, it allows us to be in sync with God as part of Him since we are His children. It allows God to fill that emptiness deep within and to be God centered. it allows me to be soaked in the sea of Love in His Presence. Only then, I will be able to let this Love flow out of me to others.
This period of Lent is going to be very busy for me as it is peak period at my workplace with a major event coming and a major project going on. Well, God has reminded me not to forget to chill out with Him and soak in the sea of His Love so that I can walk further with this break. I am reminded I am loved no matter what.
With Love,
Elena
I was chatting to a friend last night till one plus in the morning. It set me wonder why I am working so hard. (Ok, my mind multi tasks alot. While talking to her, my mind is also racing through al lot of things.) For what? What do I earn in the end? Am I really happy? Though I may have earned more money and got to higher position in the corporate world, am I really happy inside? The answer is, ironically, the emptiness within me is getting louder and louder. Have been reading through people's blogs and spiritual articles as part of my quiet time with God to get to know this Heavenly Father more. As today is the Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of Lent period for us, my colleague came in with the ash marked as a cross on her forehead without her realizing that the cross was quite prominent to be even seen from far. I guess this serves as a reminder to me that I am just dust without the breath of life. This breath of life comes from Love. And, I am loved which explains my existence.
How often from time to time, in the midst of activities and pursuing what I want, have I forgotten the beauty of simplicity? I think the emptiness which becomes louder and louder as I am achieving more and more wants is God's calling out to me that I am getting more and more spiritually drier within and going towards direction further and further away from Him as I am filling myself with the material wants which can only be filled by the living water. Anyway, anything and anybody in this world can easily perish with time. Why am I so silly to focus and settle myself on things that will perish instead of hanging on to Love who is eternal? Of course, I am not saying that I should stop working and just studying God's Word. What I am referring to is my focus is not really right by the fact that the emptiness within me is getting louder.
Only when I allow to slow down and appreciate this breath of life from God as a gift to me every time I breathe, I will remember why I exist. I exist because of Love out of Love. I must spend some quiet time to allow this breath to be enjoyed. Have you ever seen people rushing through a fine dining? No, right? That is the idea. What's more? This breath of life is free of charge. I do not need to earn it. It is a gift from God to me. Isn't it romantic that I am receiving this gift of breath every second of my life? Recently, it is recommended by various sources that meditation does benefit a person's well being. Why is that so? Because it helps a person to be centered, to take a break away from the hassles of life for the whole body to rest. For Christians to meditate or to simply spend quiet time with God, it allows us to be in sync with God as part of Him since we are His children. It allows God to fill that emptiness deep within and to be God centered. it allows me to be soaked in the sea of Love in His Presence. Only then, I will be able to let this Love flow out of me to others.
This period of Lent is going to be very busy for me as it is peak period at my workplace with a major event coming and a major project going on. Well, God has reminded me not to forget to chill out with Him and soak in the sea of His Love so that I can walk further with this break. I am reminded I am loved no matter what.
With Love,
Elena
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Where are you? I am still waiting for you.....
Have been very stressed out. So, I had decided to go for a jog at the stadium yesterday. A lot of things went through my mind. Quite upset. Have just received the news that my niece has been diagnosed with a rare kidney disease. My whole family is affected. The baby is very pretty and cute. I can't imagine the pain that she will be going through. Nobody is more affected than my sister and brother-in-law. I can't help much. All I can do is to pray and see what I can do to help. I really hope that miracle will happen and she will be healed. Even if not, I believe God will see her through it. No matter what, no words can express how sad I feel about this whole news especially whenever I see her innocent and pretty face with two dimples. Sometimes, I even ask God why such things must happen to her. Well, it is not about why, it is about what we can do to learn from it as a lesson in life and how we can best love one another in Love while we are in this world. I also got told off by my deputy director on last Thursday before I went off for my MC. She did not even find out what happened and accused me of defending myself since I have the habit of keeping things to myself. Ultimately, after explaining things to her when she probed deeper into it, she understood why I said certain things. After the jog yesterday morning, I did feel much better after perspiring all the toxic of unhappiness and stress. Though lonely, I thank God for me to spend time alone with Him.
Many friends thought that I have never liked any men in my life. I seldom touched on my own romanitic matters with most people. When I advised some of them to get out of certain relationships which may lead to misery and hurt to themselves and others, they always bombard me with I will never understand how they feel as I have never fallen in love. How do they know? I do not share does not mean I have never fallen in love. I appear cold does not mean that I do not have feelings. I do not show my sadness does not mean that I do not feel hurt. I am a human being just like anyone else. I may be rational but I am not cold blooded. I am not gentle does not mean that I do not love. On last Thursday, I happened to see the person I love. He was in the car at the traffic light near my workplace when I happened to cross the road to go back home to see a doctor as I was sick. He should have seen me but he pretended not to see me. If you were me, how would you feel seeing such response from your loved one after being told off by your deputy director? I did not just see him on last Thursday. I seem to bump into him from time to time. I have cut myself off from him and yet I still have feelings for him. I have told God I had accepted that we have gone on our separate ways and yet I still see him from time to time. I am not sure what God wants this time. Maybe, God wants me to see for myself the cold response from this person I love and wants my feelings for him tp die totally. Maybe, God wants us to reconcile as friends. Maybe, God wants him to face certain issues and himself and be honest with himself and others. I am not sure. At least, on my part, I have been honest to God and him. I leave the decision to him. From his pretence of not knowing me on last Thursday, I guess he wants to have a clean break with me. I hope this is really what he wants and is called forth by God and not escapism. If it is not called forth by God, it will only lead to misery for both him and me. I really hope he will be honest with me and himself. Truth may be hard. But, I rather face the truth. Well, as long as he is happy, I am happy.
I am not being noble by cutting my relationship with this man whom I really love. I have been cold to him for his own good. It does not mean that I feel good being cold towards him. My mentality is the world does not revolve around me. It is not a matter of whether I like him or not. I believe that if I love him, I should let God guide me and leave this man to make the choice. Relationship takes two hands to clap. I have never believed in forcing anyone into relationships with me. So what if I win him over and possess him? He is not an abject for me to possess. How about his heart? I always believe the treasure is where the heart is. If his heart is not even with me, what is the point of forcing the both of us into relationship, causing more misery to him and myself? He is a man with his own will to choose. Even God does not force us to love Him. Actually, towards this man, I have loved him to the extent of being confident and willing to spend the rest of my life with him. I have suffered hell from him before. But, somehow, I am willing to spend the rest of my life with him if it is God's will and he is willing to. I have left the choice to him. Ultimately, I am fine with being his spouse, friend, brother or even go on our separate ways. I did enjoy myself with him around. Well, I think only God knows what is the best for the both of us. Both of us love God. Let God be our guidance.
Yes, I still miss him. I still have feelings for him. I feel like looking for him to see him at times. He is always on my mind. I often wonder how he is getting on. But, at the same time, I believe marriage is blessed by God. All relationships are blessed by God. God is our Creator. Only He knows us through and through and how we can best love one another in Love. If I love this man, I should let God be the light. If this man is not my future spouse, no matter how hard or painful it is to let go, I have to let go out of my love for this man and myself in God. I always believe that God will bless me with the right one. Yes, letting go is tough. And yet, it is essential when called forth so that both of us are set free to love others and allow the right ones to be our spouses for the Kingdom of God to continue to expand. If the person is meant for me, I believe God will give him the courage and love to express his feelings for me and marry me. If not, I will take it as he does not love me enough for such expression. It just means that we are not meant for each other. Yes, truth can be hard but it opens up other doors for others to enter into our lives. How many of us have the luxury of having our first loves to be our spouses? Imagine if we choose to stubbornly get stuck to the first loves and refuse to open up doors to welcome others into our lives, how many people can get married with the right ones meant for us by God?
I am not getting any younger. Age is catching up. I also hope to be like most of my friends, setting up family with my spouse and children. I also hope to have a home of my own with my spouse. But, such things can never be forced. Maybe, I am better off being single. Only God knows. Sometimes, I do not understand why some people get divorced so easily. Have they forgtten the marriage vows that they have taken? Or do they see marriage as a game where they could leave as and when they like? Have they forgotten how they have made the efforts to plan and set up their homes with details together out of Love? Isn't it a form of romance to build their nests out of Love? Why give up so easily? Nobody knows what happens next. Never take anyone for granted. Even healthy people were reported to collapse and die instantly. What does that tell us? Not to take for granted that those people in our lives are always there. Life is fragile. For all you know, the person sleeping beside you may be gone the next day.
I used to discern to see if religious life is for me or not with the Daugthers of St Paul. I did not get in there to avoid any issues. I went for such discernment because God has been blessing me with a lot of love and kindess through many people and I would like to see if it is God's will for me to share His Love and such blessings through religious life. In fact, when discerning, I realized that I would not have to worry about retirement, basic living, further studies while reaching out to people through media and vow of celibacy to get fully into evangelization as the Church would provide me with all these things. I knew I had the intellect to get into that order. As I discerned deeper, I knew religious life was not for me. In fact, I see that I will be more corrupted and may have got in with the wrong intention. Being a religious sister, I may need to get sponsors for certain projects. I know I may become manipulative by mingling with rich people and do what they please to get what I want even though I may be reaching out to others in mission. I do not see how much I can grow by such double lives. I do see that in some people and I know I have the high potential to be one of them. So, I stopped the discernment with the Daugthers of St Paul. Life outside is very tough as I am travelling alone. But, I know God will bless me with the resources and people along the way to help me to grow and love more and more like the image of God. I am still open to all vocations. Only God knows which path is the best for me to share His Love with the others and live life to the fullest.
I still love this man whom I saw on last Thursday. I think he is leading his life happily to the fullest. I may feel right and secure and happy with him around but only God knows if he is right for me. I am happy enough that he was in my life to bring a lot of happiness, security, laughter, comfort, etc. to my life. I also want him to be happy. As long as he is happy, I am happy. If he is for me, God will bring him to me. If not, God will bring the right person to me. If I am called to be single, I will live life to the fullest and see how I can contribute to the others. So, never take for granted that all people are called to marriage. It is a blessing to walk through life journey together in marriage. I have always dreamt to travel around the world. If you ask me and are given a choice, I will give up my dream of travelling around the world alone to travel with a spouse in our life journey together. It is never easy to live together as everyone is unique. It takes a lot of courage and love to live and travel together as one. It only takes a few minutes to say the marrigae vow but a lifetime to practise it. I am willing to dive to into such adventure with my whole life with faith. I am still waiting for my spouse to take me with him. Meanwhile, I will continue to live life to the fullest. I will continue to wait........
With Love,
Elena
Many friends thought that I have never liked any men in my life. I seldom touched on my own romanitic matters with most people. When I advised some of them to get out of certain relationships which may lead to misery and hurt to themselves and others, they always bombard me with I will never understand how they feel as I have never fallen in love. How do they know? I do not share does not mean I have never fallen in love. I appear cold does not mean that I do not have feelings. I do not show my sadness does not mean that I do not feel hurt. I am a human being just like anyone else. I may be rational but I am not cold blooded. I am not gentle does not mean that I do not love. On last Thursday, I happened to see the person I love. He was in the car at the traffic light near my workplace when I happened to cross the road to go back home to see a doctor as I was sick. He should have seen me but he pretended not to see me. If you were me, how would you feel seeing such response from your loved one after being told off by your deputy director? I did not just see him on last Thursday. I seem to bump into him from time to time. I have cut myself off from him and yet I still have feelings for him. I have told God I had accepted that we have gone on our separate ways and yet I still see him from time to time. I am not sure what God wants this time. Maybe, God wants me to see for myself the cold response from this person I love and wants my feelings for him tp die totally. Maybe, God wants us to reconcile as friends. Maybe, God wants him to face certain issues and himself and be honest with himself and others. I am not sure. At least, on my part, I have been honest to God and him. I leave the decision to him. From his pretence of not knowing me on last Thursday, I guess he wants to have a clean break with me. I hope this is really what he wants and is called forth by God and not escapism. If it is not called forth by God, it will only lead to misery for both him and me. I really hope he will be honest with me and himself. Truth may be hard. But, I rather face the truth. Well, as long as he is happy, I am happy.
I am not being noble by cutting my relationship with this man whom I really love. I have been cold to him for his own good. It does not mean that I feel good being cold towards him. My mentality is the world does not revolve around me. It is not a matter of whether I like him or not. I believe that if I love him, I should let God guide me and leave this man to make the choice. Relationship takes two hands to clap. I have never believed in forcing anyone into relationships with me. So what if I win him over and possess him? He is not an abject for me to possess. How about his heart? I always believe the treasure is where the heart is. If his heart is not even with me, what is the point of forcing the both of us into relationship, causing more misery to him and myself? He is a man with his own will to choose. Even God does not force us to love Him. Actually, towards this man, I have loved him to the extent of being confident and willing to spend the rest of my life with him. I have suffered hell from him before. But, somehow, I am willing to spend the rest of my life with him if it is God's will and he is willing to. I have left the choice to him. Ultimately, I am fine with being his spouse, friend, brother or even go on our separate ways. I did enjoy myself with him around. Well, I think only God knows what is the best for the both of us. Both of us love God. Let God be our guidance.
Yes, I still miss him. I still have feelings for him. I feel like looking for him to see him at times. He is always on my mind. I often wonder how he is getting on. But, at the same time, I believe marriage is blessed by God. All relationships are blessed by God. God is our Creator. Only He knows us through and through and how we can best love one another in Love. If I love this man, I should let God be the light. If this man is not my future spouse, no matter how hard or painful it is to let go, I have to let go out of my love for this man and myself in God. I always believe that God will bless me with the right one. Yes, letting go is tough. And yet, it is essential when called forth so that both of us are set free to love others and allow the right ones to be our spouses for the Kingdom of God to continue to expand. If the person is meant for me, I believe God will give him the courage and love to express his feelings for me and marry me. If not, I will take it as he does not love me enough for such expression. It just means that we are not meant for each other. Yes, truth can be hard but it opens up other doors for others to enter into our lives. How many of us have the luxury of having our first loves to be our spouses? Imagine if we choose to stubbornly get stuck to the first loves and refuse to open up doors to welcome others into our lives, how many people can get married with the right ones meant for us by God?
I am not getting any younger. Age is catching up. I also hope to be like most of my friends, setting up family with my spouse and children. I also hope to have a home of my own with my spouse. But, such things can never be forced. Maybe, I am better off being single. Only God knows. Sometimes, I do not understand why some people get divorced so easily. Have they forgtten the marriage vows that they have taken? Or do they see marriage as a game where they could leave as and when they like? Have they forgotten how they have made the efforts to plan and set up their homes with details together out of Love? Isn't it a form of romance to build their nests out of Love? Why give up so easily? Nobody knows what happens next. Never take anyone for granted. Even healthy people were reported to collapse and die instantly. What does that tell us? Not to take for granted that those people in our lives are always there. Life is fragile. For all you know, the person sleeping beside you may be gone the next day.
I used to discern to see if religious life is for me or not with the Daugthers of St Paul. I did not get in there to avoid any issues. I went for such discernment because God has been blessing me with a lot of love and kindess through many people and I would like to see if it is God's will for me to share His Love and such blessings through religious life. In fact, when discerning, I realized that I would not have to worry about retirement, basic living, further studies while reaching out to people through media and vow of celibacy to get fully into evangelization as the Church would provide me with all these things. I knew I had the intellect to get into that order. As I discerned deeper, I knew religious life was not for me. In fact, I see that I will be more corrupted and may have got in with the wrong intention. Being a religious sister, I may need to get sponsors for certain projects. I know I may become manipulative by mingling with rich people and do what they please to get what I want even though I may be reaching out to others in mission. I do not see how much I can grow by such double lives. I do see that in some people and I know I have the high potential to be one of them. So, I stopped the discernment with the Daugthers of St Paul. Life outside is very tough as I am travelling alone. But, I know God will bless me with the resources and people along the way to help me to grow and love more and more like the image of God. I am still open to all vocations. Only God knows which path is the best for me to share His Love with the others and live life to the fullest.
I still love this man whom I saw on last Thursday. I think he is leading his life happily to the fullest. I may feel right and secure and happy with him around but only God knows if he is right for me. I am happy enough that he was in my life to bring a lot of happiness, security, laughter, comfort, etc. to my life. I also want him to be happy. As long as he is happy, I am happy. If he is for me, God will bring him to me. If not, God will bring the right person to me. If I am called to be single, I will live life to the fullest and see how I can contribute to the others. So, never take for granted that all people are called to marriage. It is a blessing to walk through life journey together in marriage. I have always dreamt to travel around the world. If you ask me and are given a choice, I will give up my dream of travelling around the world alone to travel with a spouse in our life journey together. It is never easy to live together as everyone is unique. It takes a lot of courage and love to live and travel together as one. It only takes a few minutes to say the marrigae vow but a lifetime to practise it. I am willing to dive to into such adventure with my whole life with faith. I am still waiting for my spouse to take me with him. Meanwhile, I will continue to live life to the fullest. I will continue to wait........
With Love,
Elena
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