Guess where I am writing this blog post now? I am writing
this blog post from ICU of Changi General Hospital. My uncle collapsed in the
evening on Sunday during his soccer game. Here, I am staying overnight as
it is his crucial point. If he pulls through, he will be on his way to
recovery. However, as he has not waken up so far, nobody is sure how much
damage has been done to his body as he was lack of oxygen for awhile when he
first fainted. My aunt is resting in a room. I guess she is too exhausted from
running around and it is emotionally draining to her, especially when she has
been trying very hard not to break down. It has been tough on her. What is my
task here then? I am here to accompany her as I understand how scary it is for
her to face such matter of life and death alone. At least, she has someone to
discuss matters with her if needed. I have also been around to be the middleman
to break any news to my family with my aunt’s consent as my aunt does not know
how to speak Cantonese and will not know how to handle my family members’
reaction, especially my grandmother’s. I also have to think of ways to put the
harsh words from the nurses and doctors first hand and try to minimize the
harshness for my family members to digest them slowly. I am also here to feed
the doctors with my family medical history for them to track any suspected
congenital disease. It really put my crisis management and communication skills
to test.
I should say it is very tiring, especially emotionally. So
far, to my surprise, I am handling it quite well. I guess it may be due to the
working of the Holy Spirit. I have been praying hard for my uncle and also for
the Holy Spirit to guide me since this is my first time handling such matters.
It is rather challenging to hear the doctors telling you straight to your face
that your uncle may pass on at any time and we should inform our family members.
At least, for me, it was a shock since my uncle has been a healthy man and he
is quite young. I had to quickly get over my shock and start discussing with my
aunt if we should inform our family members and I had to think of how to
communicate such news to them. It could have been worse if my family members
received such harsh news from the doctors who did not mince their words. At
least, I am the filter. While informing my family members, I had to face the
emotional outburst from them in various forms. Some cried bitterly, some
scolded me, some bombarded me with questions. I had to try different methods of
pacifying them. This saved my aunt from further distress.
My sister asked me if I have cried so far. I told her I have
no time to break down or cry. I just have to help my aunt as much as I can. My
family members and I have been taking turns to visit my uncle and talk to him to
wake him up. The longer he sleeps, the more his brain will be damaged. He did
try to struggle to get up and had some responses to what we said. Tears even
rolled down his cheeks. We have been trying very hard to say things that will
motivate him to fight this battle. My last words to him were getting him to
fight for his spouse who has been running around and controlling her tears very
hard and mum who is too old for such blow. I told him if he loves them, he must
wake up to take care of him. If he continues to sleep, his spouse and mum
cannot take it anymore. Enough of his sleep. We are all waiting him to join us
for reunion dinner during Chinese New Year.
When it comes to life and death matter, all I can do is to
lift him up to God. He is still not out of danger. All of us are praying very
hard for him. I believe he will wake up. As long as he lives, there is hope for
him to live anew. His case is also a warning to all of us as his family
members. Sudden death due to heart issues seem to run in the family, especially
males. For me, I am well aware of it after my grandfather and another uncle
passed on suddenly due to heart issue. I have also experienced near death
experience due to heart issue during a few occasions. I guess it is God’s way
of telling us to be more careful with our health to prevent similar incident
from happening. I should say that God has protected my uncle. Someone had
performed CPR and AED on my uncle before the ambulance reached the site for
him. According to the doctor, he was revived from initial death. Another God’s
working was I happened to meet my aunt after a few postponement of our
appointment. Right after I met up with her, her mobile phone rang just as she
was about to hand it over to the service centre for repair. It was from my uncle’s
friend informing us my uncle collapsed and was on his way to the hospital. All
the timing was ‘nicely arranged’. I believe it is God’s work. I also see God in
my uncle’s soccer team. I saw how supportive they were through their group chat
and their presence in the ICU for my uncle. If not for them, my uncle could not
have made it at all.
I see this incident as one of my training grounds for sharpening
my crisis management and communication skills. It also teaches me how to let go
and let God since it is a matter of life and death which I have no control
over. It also helps me to see how God works wonder and experience His Love in
terms of timing of help and people who come forward to help and support in many
ways. Through this incident, I also discover I am capable of handling crisis
better than I think, giving me confidence as a person, injecting a boost to my
self esteem.
I have confidence that my uncle will be well. All I hope is
to see him well again and live life to the fullest with my aunt. That is all I
want to see. I know that he will join us for our reunion dinner with his spouse
during the coming Chinese New Year.
With Love,
Elena
