Really get very drained from the presentation slides that I am forced to prepare for an event. The monster has expected me to finish the slides and she tend to have high expectation on such slides. Well, I am prepared that what I am preparing now will go down to drain as she has never been happy with any slides from my team due to her personal reasons which I do not bother to find out but to accept it since she is the boss. Here, I am cracking my head playing with the animation with Powerpoint.
I took a break away from my work reading Fr Ron's blog entry for this week. I totally agree with what he has shared. He was touching on the significance of numbers. Well, what sets my eyes popping out is the parable about the woman searching for that one coin and celebrating upon finding it. Fr Ron further elaborated on a woman rejoicing the return of a daughter who disappeared from the family. He was right to point out that in our daily lives, we hope some people whom we do not like or want to deal with to disappear from the family, community, etc. Many people can preach about welcoming people who have left the family or churches. But, how do they treat them when they go back? Have they even welcome them at all? Personal experience has taught me that once those people do not agree with them or are not like-minded as them, they are seen as outcasts or going against them. Worse still, no matter how sincere or true they are in serving in ministries, they are accused of having hidden agendas and some of the people or even leaders will try to ostracize them and kick them out of the ministries or even churches, warning them not to pollute the people in church. It is as if the like-minded people in their groups and they, themselves, do not have hidden agendas. Well, most of them do have hidden agendas and do not really have strong faith as they are not aware that they have doubted God's power to transform these people. I did question some of the leaders if these people who are broken or bad in some ways, especially the youths, are kicked out of church, where do they go? What is the the church for? What are the church leaders for? Just to mingle with others who seem holy and well versed in the church teachings or influential people who can support them in their recreation and projects? Didn't Jesus ever mention that only the sick needs the physician? Didn't he find the one last sheep even though he still had the 99 with him? Is it only understood at the head level? Does it sink into the heart and get it practised?
I have a friend who just posted something about him/herself on Facebook. Obviously, he/she did not know what to do that he/she googled for the answers. All I did was to advise him/her to accept him/herself as who he/she is. There is no need to please everyone. If he/she has made any mistakes or hurt anyone, just admit the mistakes and apologize so that he/she can grow to be more mature. He/She does not have to be harsh on him/herself. If he/she has not done anything wrong or hurt anyone, that is the people's problems. All he/she can do is to be understanding that all of us have flaws. That is why we are here to learn life lessons as human beings. I think it helped him/her as he/she 'like' the comments. I guess there are many people around us need advice from time to time. They are everywhere. Even right after natural disasters like typhoons or hurricanes, victims will face all sorts of devastation and trauma. Some are stronger than the others in recovering. That is the chance for the stronger ones to help the weaker ones. Reaching out to others is not just about arranged mission trips. It can be done everywhere, even in schools, workplaces, areas of disasters, etc.
I admit I have not been going to church nowadays. I no longer care about what the people in church are talking about behind my back. I have gone through the worst from them. So, nothing can be worse. I am happier with my life outside. Whenever I am feeling better, I will go for the masses to spend time with God. I am grateful that I have one or two church friends who will sms me or go out with me once in awhile. I will try to help others no matter where I go. Not that I am noble or holy (far from it), I appreciate the fact that I am still living. My health has been bad nowadays. Recently, the weather in Singapore is cold. I love the weather but I suffer physically. As I have not fully recovered from bronchitis, the cold weather nearly triggers my weather-induced asthma a few times. I still do not undertsand why the air con in the buses and offices is blasting away leaving some of us shivering in cold. During such times of suffering, I do appreciate oxygen which is free and I often take it for granted when I am healthy. Whenever I have breathing problems due to the cold weather, I appreciate the act of breathing smoothly daily when I am not sick. That reminds me to give thanks for the fact that I am living, still breathing. I still spend time with God through various readings. The only online material I am depending on is Fr Ron's weekly blog. Other than that, I rather spend time with my books wherever I go.
Watching movies and drama series are another avenues for my reflection. On last Monday, as my mum did not cook, I decided to watch a movie alone while having my dinner. It was a French show rated M18. The show was so boring that the young men behind me were complaining. I was disgusted with the show more than bored by it. The actors and actresses in the movie were showing some sexual scenes where the girls were shown naked and engaged with the sexual acts with the boys. They looked very young to me. I wonder if they were even 18 years old yet. I got very disturbed and disgusted by the sexual scenes from them. I wonder what has happened to the entertainment industry. Do they need to stoop themselves so cheap as to get these young people to act these sexual scenes for higher viewers' rate? Anyway, personally, I rather watch mature adults in such movies which I do watch for the plots or themes. I seriously detest watching young adults below the age of 21 in such movies. To me, there is no difference between child slaves as sexual tools and them. It is encouraging young people to engage in casual sex. It was shocking to me that I ever encountered a youth who confessed to me that she had aborted three times before she turned 20. I did pray for the entertainment industry to go through transformation where the movies touch people's hearts positively and influence our society in a healthy and positive way instead of focusing on how to raise the viewers' rate. Whenever I come across any nice drama series or movies, I will always share them with friends.
I have finished watching '49 Days', a Korean drama. The female leading character collected tears from three friends who truly loved her. One from her lover how secretly loved and protected her quietly all the while and confessed his love to her at the end, one from her best friend who always treasured her and the other one was a twist, which was the close friend who betrayed her and had affairs with her fiance at first and then leanrt her mistakes and did all she could to repent. From this twist, it reminded me that nothing is absolute. A sinner can always repent. One should allow the sinner the space and mercy to repent and be transformed. Poeple's hearts do change all the time. The other twist of this show was this leading character still died after waking up from the coma upon receiving tears from all three people who truly loved her. Her time was up. She only had six days to live in her body before her own death. At least, she has spent the good 49 days to fix all her relationships and spend time with her loved ones and friends and become a better person herself. But, in reality, do we have such opportunities to be in coma and be given 49 days to fix all our issues with people through our souls in other people's bodies? I doubt so. That is why life is so precious. We do not know how long we are going to be here. Life can be so fragile. Just one car accident later and you will be gone. Never take it for granted that you are healthy and you still have a lot of time and take it for granted. You will never know. Live each day as if it were your loast day so that you will never die with regrets, bitterness or bondages in the world. Then, you will be a free soul to meet the Lord when the time comes.
With Love,
Elena
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