Just came back from a movie with a friend. I was amused by the show titled The Devil Inside. Right at the beginning, it was clearly stated that the Vatican has absolutely no part in the shooting of the exorcism and that any exorcism done by the priest in real life has never been recorded for any show. Yes, this show was about exorcism done by priests and how things got out of control that one of them got possessed and killed himself while the other died in an accident in the car driven by a man who was possessed. These two priests had taken the exorcism cases without the permission from the Vatican and even defied the authority. In a way, their death was caused by their disobedience against the Vatican as chosen by God as the headquarter for Catholicism throughout the world under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I find the show interesting as I have always been interested in the afterlife and such spiritual warfare and stuffs as I tend to be spiritually sensitive, which goes against me when my faith is weak. Besides, this show is related to my faith and made me sit up with intense attention to what the show has got to say about Catholicism. I should say this show is highly entertaining to me.
I went for a hike with my friend yesterday. I walked until my legs are too painful to walk properly now, especially my left knee which had been hurt badly twice without receiving any treatment at all. Now, I am also down with flu and sore throat and sunburn. However, the hike was worthy. I learnt certain lessons out of the hike. We hiked from 11am to around 5.30pm from Segar Station to Dairy Farm to Singapore Quarry to Bukit Panjang Nature Reserve to Guilin (man-made cliff) with short breaks in between. What I enjoyed the most was the wrong route that we took trying to get to the Singapore Quarry from Dairy Farm through the forest. The condition was quite bad due to the rain the night before. I have learnt three lessons out of this wrong route.
Firstly, the ground was slippery and muddy with fallen trees and twigs all around. We were stuck at one point because of the fallen trees and twigs. Then, I stood back and looked at how the fallen trees and twigs laid on the ground and found my way to get through. My friend followed me.
Lesson 1: Spiritual life or life in general may seem like a forest with obstacles (fallen trees or twigs) along the way. There is no point lamenting or complaining and stopping there. There is also no point forcing ourselves through and getting ourselves hurt. The best way is to keep calm, step back and look through a third party’s eyes at the issues and ask God to guide and direct our decisions and actions. If someone is following you for guidance or under your leadership, rushing through it all will also hurt the other person as depicted in the blind is leading the blind, especially under blind leaders. If the leaders are not wise and open to God’s guidance, the disciples will fall with them. That is really too great responsibility to be negligent or capricious.
Then, there was one point when I fell. Luckily, both my hands pressed on the ground before my butt landed on the mud. I was protected from injury and there were no sharp objects on the ground to hurt me. My friend got a shock and made sure that I was alright.
Lesson 2: We may fall from time to time in our lives. Do we just complain and indulge into self pity, trying to gain attention and blame the environment or worse still, everyone else, and not get up with the fear of falling again or do we learn from our fall and bounce back to continue with our walk with faith in God no doubt we may still fall from time to time? At that point, I was thankful that God protected me from injury though my palm did bruise abit. I should be grateful that I did not sustain any serious injury. I always believe that what does not kill you only strengthens you. Whatever fall you have in life, there are always some lessons to learn from to strengthen you and make you wiser. Give thanks to God that we are still surviving after all the falls so far.
Finally, from the wrong route, there was another point where I did not have the confidence that I could get down the slope safely. So, I got my friend’s help by holding on to her arm when getting down the slope. When I landed safely, she held on to my arm and came down safely. I really enjoyed that support and working together happily with her to keep each other safe and sound.
Lesson 3: No man is an island, especially in Christianity where it is all about sharing Love with one another. We need support from one another and journey together so that we will not fall to our death or fall unnecessarily. Sometimes, pride does get in the way to admit our vulnerabilities. If I let the pride overrides the opportunities to share Love with the others through my vulnerabilities, I am depriving others and myself from enjoying fellowship together and connecting the individual worlds of our own together to expand the Kingdom of God.
In conclusion, I learnt the most from the wrong route that we have taken. In fact, I was glad that we took the wrong route for us to have a different experience learning life lessons from the forest. In life, sometimes, we may think that certain experiences are waste of time and we blame ourselves or others for such hindrance to get what we want or according to the ways we expect them to be. During this Lent period, it is apt to slow our pace down and reflect on the areas of our lives which we think are waste of our time due to our perceived hindrance from other people or self. Take time to bring them up to God and ask God to shed some light on them and see what lessons you learn from them. Have you developed patience after them? Have you grown wiser and mature after them? Have you learnt to treasure everyone or everything in your life as God’s gift to you no matter how insignificant some things or people are to you? When we make conscious efforts and examine our lives with honesty with God’s guidance, there are definitely precious lessons to be learnt which money cannot buy from these seemingly ‘wrong’ routes. Ultimately, we need God’s guidance to go back to the right route towards holiness again and again. The three lessons that I have learnt above among other life lessons will equip me better and better to keep on going back to God whenever I stray away from Him. This must come with spending quiet time alone with him from time to time, regular prayers, through Eucharistic celebration and sacraments (which I have missed), communal worship and serving others out of Love.
I enjoyed the hike. Thanks to my friend who went through it with me. Now, my career is like the forest where I am hindered by the ‘fallen trees and twigs’ and I even fall. If I could figure that out and got out of the forest safely, I should not have problems resolving my career issues. But, the question is ‘how?’ Now, it also comes with my health getting bad which may need some checkup and draining the little saving I have. These ‘fallen trees and twigs’ seem too big for me to get over. I guess that really exercise my faith and trust that God will provide my ‘daily bread’. In terms of career, one friend of mine has asked me to apply jobs that are of higher position so that the main issues that I have been facing in my career will be solved. It makes sense and I know it may work. But, will employers give me the chance to even get into the organizations? Am I really up to that level yet? I am realistic about my abilities and would never want to blow my own trumpet by going for positions too high for me. If not, I would embarrass myself if I do not do well and it would be unfair to the organization which hire and train me for that position. Now, all I can do is to pray hard for a job which I can do well and get fair appraisal and not be abused by bosses anymore. I am willing to work hard and in fact, I work very hard for every job assigned to me. But, I feel very indignant when I get verbally abused with my ideas stolen by bosses in the open office causing some colleagues to lose respect for me and start yelling at me and yet not getting a single cent for my bonuses where the laziest employees in those organizations could skive and get theirs.
Really do not know where I am heading towards. All I can do is to pray for miracles. Always remember that all the experiences that you have gone through will never go to waste. God will use them creatively for the good of yourself and others out of Love.
With Love,
Elena
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