Friday, March 9, 2012

Influence of People whom We Journey With As Spiritual Companions & Close Friends

Now, I am on a course of strong antibiotics and other medicines for the treatment of two sites of infection. Have been feeling weak and groggy most of the time. So, I take this period of time where I lie on the bed most of the time to do reading from books and iPhone. How I wish I can have an iPad for me to catch up with my reading as the reading from the small screen of my iPhone strains my eyes and causes blur vision at times. There are many useful apps that I have downloaded to learn more about the Catholic faith like the iDoms portal created by Dominican Order, RC Buddy for the daily readings, rosary and prayers, Lent Lite for meditation during the period of Lent, St Augustine Mag for any articles related to the Catholic faith, etc. On top of that, I also downloaded other apps touching on different areas of specialization not related to my faith. Really a lot of reading to catch up. If I cannot afford to travel physically to explore other countries, I explore mentally across different fields.


Nowadays, new media has been widely used as tools for various purposes, connecting with people instantly around the world. In the realm of Catholicism, it has been used for evangelization or sharing of faith by various groups. I observe that how we behave in our lives will also be how we behave online. I remember I was invited to join one church group through Facebook. However, to my frustration of seeing certain behaviour online from those very few people, I withdrew from the group as I do not see the point of joining such group when they further filter the people who are allowed to view some information or photos that are church related. To me, I am wondering it is silly to invite us and yet certain information or photos are shared intimately by what I named them as elites. Such behaviour of theirs can also be observed in their daily interaction with people. If the information or photos shared are so exclusive, they could have formed their own elite group rather than filtering the people they have invited to the Facebook group which I find silly.

Such behaviour shows me one thing. That is discrimination which violates the very essence of Christianity; Sharing God’s Love with everyone with the two commandments of Love God and love neighbours as ourselves. Obviously, there is certain element of politics in the group. I am very selective with who I grow with as close friends or confidante or spiritual companions. I do not look up to influential, wealthy, popular, people to grow with. I do not seek people who will say what pleases me even if I am wrong. I do not seek people who see themselves as elites and play politics in any settings. I know I can never grow with them. In fact, if I continue to stick closely to them, I am wired or influenced even subtly by them with my daily interaction with them, whether I am aware of it or not.

I do reach out to various people. But, I also need people to grow with me and help me to grow as close friends or confidante or spiritual companions. Normally, I look for authenticity or altruism in a person or a group even if they are poor or social outcast before forming close bonds with them. Of course, everyone has his own flaws. I do not expect anyone to be perfect. If I realize that a group has branded itself on elitism or for self glorification where everyone is just all out to please one another for some self centered gains or self inflated egos, I will get out of it as I know I will end up like them away from God though I may act holy superficially to others. It is not surprising to see a lot of politics in such group. The only reason why I stick to them may be due to the fact that I am called to reach out to the others as a group with them and my missions have not been completed and yet I do not look upon them as my examples. These people may be well versed in the knowledge of the faith and I will only learn the head knowledge from them. After my missions are completed, I will leave the group.

I am glad to have friends outside who are not Catholics and yet I see authenticity or altruism in them. They help me to see the different aspects of Christ. They are basically good people but somehow, they never respond to God or become part of the Catholic family. I am proud to be part of the Catholic family and have responded to God’s calling to be a child of God through my baptism and confirmation. Yes, politics do happen in church. In fact, where you find people, politics will most likely happen if the people are vying for power or self glorification or want their ways which clash against the others’. There are also some authentic Catholics who are honest and sincere in their interaction with the others. I remember my RCIA leaders in my first parish got me some pamphlets on a disease which my loved one suffered from so that I could understand her better and be more forgiving and generous towards her. I was very touched by their very act of doing so with such little thoughts as it builds life and seek reconciliation with others and love others as who they are.

We have to set our perspective right that there is a mixture of people with different needs and wants in the church which may ignite conflicts. All of us are broken in some ways which is why Eucharistic celebration where the presence of Christ exists and we receive him through the host, and other sacraments help us to experience God’s grace and extend such grace to others through forgiveness and acceptance of others’ differences again and again. Discrimination or labelling own groups as unspoken elites or holy ones will only cause divisions in the church. The very act of it violates the very essence of true Christian living which is sharing without any discrimination. If not, Jesus could have chosen to die with the rich instead of with the two thieves who were deemed to be of the lowest social status. From my personal observation, these very people who discriminate or deem themselves as higher than the others may even scold and ostracize others for the very acts which they, themselves, have carried out as if they have got exclusive rights for doing so.

Who we mingle with as our spiritual companions or close friends for our own growth in life is very important. Sometimes, we may not even be aware of the pervasive influence from these people whom we associate with as spiritual companions or close friends or confidante over us which cause us to stray away from God if we are not careful or wise. Christ centred people will walk right with God first and then with others. Self centred people will walk ‘right’ with others first and then, right with God or may not even be right with God depending on what pleases the people they want to please. The people whom they want to please or associate with become the main influences in their lives for certain self centred needs or wants and guidance. In a way, they become their gods or idols whom they falsely worship. Of course, it is not right to judge these people harshly. If not, what is the difference between them and me? Anyway, all of us are broken in some ways. Who am I to judge? If I want to judge, I must remove the wooden planks from my eyes than trying to remove wooden splints of others. Prayers will get into the picture for them to go through transformation and truly love God and others that is devotional and not self centred.

How people behave in their daily lives will be seen by how they behave online. If discrimination or division is set in real life within a big family, you will easily see the same trend or pattern or behaviour by the same group of people online, such as certain church information or photos will be shared with a group of elite within a group in Facebook, comments from certain elites or certain people favoured on certain blogs are always approved for display to inflate egos in order to please, superficial flattery from others is always posted for display for self glorification, etc. It will not be a surprise that certain issues posted for the good of others may be ignored or certain helpful questions or comments posted will not be approved due to personal biases or preferences. That is why I have stopped visiting certain blogs or get out of certain groups altogether.

Like choosing certain people I would journey as close friends or confidante or spiritual companions, I will also choose blogs or information or Facebook groups to join for my spiritual input and growth. I get tired of pretensions or politics very easily. So, I rather not get involved with or leave the groups as long as I have completed my tasks. It is very important who we grow and share ourselves intimately with as our close friends or spiritual companions even in the midst of many friends or people whom we are called to reach out to. Of course, we do not discriminate against anyone and will just include them in our prayers. If we are called to help them, we will reach out to them out of Love. If they do not listen or even accuse us, we have done our best and simply shake the dust off our shoes and continue to move on to the others, leaving them the blessing that they will change for the better one day.

That’s all for my sharing. Really sick with my ears blocked while fighting against two sites of infection. Sometimes, walking can be painful. Need a lot of rest. I take this period of sickness as sacrifice to God during this Lent period to deepen my faith as I remember all the sickly or handicapped people who are suffering and my own minor sickness is a blessing from God to help me to emphasize with these people and understand better how painful or restrictive it is to be sick or handicapped so that I am in a better position with compassion when I am called to reach out to them which is not uncommon. While sick, it reminds me to keep all the sickly or handicapped people who are suffering and being restricted in some ways in my prayers so that my short term sickness is not one with self pity but one with meaning and sacrificial Love and deeper understanding into sickly or handicapped people. Hopefully, I am well enough to go for brisk walk for much needed fresh air tomorrow. May you find meaning and joy of journeying and sharing love with your loved ones and friends, not forgetting the less fortunate ones. God bless.

With Love,

Elena

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