Ash Wednesday starts today marking the commencement of the Lent period for 40 days. This solemn period helps us to refocus our lives on God and purify our souls through prayers, abstinence, fasting and almsgiving. I think that such solemn period is essential for our spiritual lives in our modern world where we are torn by different noises and distraction in the world. Lent period for me is difficult with my basic needs not really met with my unemployment and my absence from the church. I really do not know how to get through these forty days of desert. But, I know with God, all things are possible. Regular prayers is a must for any words or deeds or acts carried out for without prayers, one can easily be led astray without the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Worse still, even if one is straying away with seemingly good deeds carried out, he will soon lose sight of God and going towards spiritual doom without even any self awareness.
The approach towards Lent is very important. It determines if you will truly go through transformation right within the core of your being. What do I mean by that? Some people show their expression of suffering to the others that they are fasting, some deliberately say lengthy prayers in front of everyone to show that they are holy, some practise almsgiving using the less fortunate ones as their tools to show that they are kind and caring for the others, etc. If you notice, the attention is all drawn to self. It defeats the purpose of transformation and purification of the souls since the acts are carried out out of self centeredness but not devotion. Meditate on Matthew 6:16-21. It spells out the essence of such acts done during the Lent period and also in our ordinary daily lives. It is not for show. In my personal life, I have seen many such people. I often watch with amusement. I do also sympathise with them at the same time as it denotes insecurity and emptiness deep within, yearning for attention from the others to self so that they will feel loved from such attention with delusion. However, there is not much transformation happening within as there is no room for improvement as these people are already too full of themselves. Sad to say, this also does happen to seemingly holy people whom I have come across in my life.
Ash Wednesday sets the approach towards the Lent period right right at the beginning of the Lent period. Every Catholic would be marked by a cross on his forehead with the ashes by the priest if we go for the mass on the Ash Wednesday. It reminds us that we are merely dust without the breath of Love from God. It sets us in humility as nothing but dust without God. Such mode helps us to start our Lent period by putting aside our self importance or excess ego or pride, allowing us to enter into the Lent period seeing ourselves as dust and appreciate God’s gift of life for everyone of us. Lent period is for repentance and transformation within. By starting with humility and thanksgiving for such breath of life to us who are otherwise merely dust, we come before God and open ourselves for such redemptive transformation through prayers, abstinence, fasting and almsgiving out of our love to God. Such acts must be done with the Spirit of Love. The transformation happens when we take the pain to look within ourselves and allow God’s light to penetrate through our layers and layers of masks into the dark areas of our lives. We may feel discomfort and even pain when such dark areas are exposed and yet they are essential to be brought to God so that we become more and more like the image of God and walk closer and closer towards holiness. How can transformation take place when we never face ourselves with the brutal sincere honesty?
Recently, I have watched a Japanese movie for the second time titled Handsome Suit. This fat ugly male leading character was despised and accused by many people just because of his appearance. He was given a chance to wear the handsome suit so that he will appear handsome to the others. Once the suit came into contact with water, he would turn back into his own appearance. Yes, he did gain popularity and many beautiful women flocked to him. He turned into a well sought after model and was even invited to be the centre of attention on an international runway. He knew this beautiful woman whom he liked. He did not approach her as his true self. When he was in his handsome suit, he began his pursuit after the woman. The woman rejected him. This woman wore this take off suit which made her ugly and fat as she wanted to find a man who loved her as who she was and not how she looked. At the end of the show, the woman revealed to this man that the fat and ugly woman whom he had known was her, and she loved the fat and ugly him without the handsome suit. Before this was revealed to the man, the man woke up from his superficiality while walking on the runway. He realized that though he was the limelight on stage with so much fame and popularity, he was not joyful inside by deceiving others and even himself. In his heart, he might desire and enjoy such fame and popularity during those moments but they did not fill him with joy and fulfilment deep within for long. Halfway through the international show, he went to look for the woman he loved and his few dear friends. Though he might go back to his ugly and fat appearance, he knew he would be truly happy with meaning in life by appreciating who he was and the little things and people in his life.
I have come across many people who choose fame, popularity or other material wants over accepting and loving themselves as who they are and seeking rewards from God. I have even bumped into people who keep on going for plastic surgeries so much that they become disfigured. I feel sad for them especially some of them who are dear to me. Whatever advice I have given, whatever help I have offered when they approach me, it is still up to them to do what is deemed the best in their lives. If God gives me free will, who am I to force others to do what I think is right? Personally, I have been to stages for various reasons, be it for performance or receiving prizes. Yes, I do get temporary happiness. But they do not fill me deep with joy for long. I also feel nice when people praise me. But does such flattery really enrich my soul within for long? If I depend on such fame, popularity, limelight, flattery, for my well being and happiness in life, I will only be devastated and even suicidal if I no longer get them since they are my ‘drugs’ that I have been hooked on as my addiction. This is depicted in Matthew 6:16-21.
One must start the Lent period with the right approach and attitude. That is humility that we are merely dust without the breath of God out of Love for us. Only then, our acts of prayers, abstinence, fasting and almsgiving will be done with the Spirit of Love placing God before us. The focus is no longer on self but God. When we have such humility, we leave some room for improvement in our lives for God to help us in our transformation on our spiritual path. At the end of it, we will feel our thirst quenched as we allow the living water to flow into the dry areas of our lives. Then, we are able to blow the trumpets, rejoicing and celebrating the resurrection of Jesus with others communally through dying to ourselves with Jesus first instead of blowing our own trumpets through drawing attention to ourselves to feed our self inflated egos by using the prayers, abstinence, fasting and almsgiving as tools which ultimately leaving ourselves stuck in the desert with the delusion that we are happy , leading unfulfilled lives with unspoken words, unexpressed feelings, unheld hands and unfinished business with the others.
This is also a period not just for personal reflection and repentance but also coming together to journey with fellow brothers and sisters on our ways of transformation towards God. Christianity is never an individual affair. Reflect and look deep into the 14 Stations of the Cross and you will see how Jesus always had people journeying with him and even die with him other than quiet time with God alone from time to time. All brothers and sisters are loved by God. No discrimination should be exercised against anyone. If not, it defeats the purpose of Lent period for transformation and repentance to be started with humility from being dust ourselves without the breath of Life out of Love. These 40 days of desert may be lonely and tough. But with God and prayers with the others, you know that you will never be alone. Let us journey through our 40 days of desert together through prayers. God bless.
With Love,
Elena
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