Had a very nice longgggg weekend with my family and friends. Had a romantic night at the Sentosa with a friend on the Easter Sunday. We got to see the fireworks as we were having our dinner to end the day. How romantic!! I thank God for such experience with Him and my friend. We enjoyed ourselves alot especially when we were surrounded by the serenity at the Starbucks in Sentosa overseeing the panoramic view of PSA. Time to come back to the fast paced world again after the peace and romance with the Lord and my friend at Sentosa.
Started the week quite badly as my boss sent me an email warning me about her monitoring me for the next two months. I was quite mad at first as I thought it was crazy of her to bother to send that email in Monday morning after we had talked on last Wednesday. Obviously, she is a person who does not let go of grudges easily. I just do not understand why she has to hold on to small little things which leave us no room to breathe since she has the tendency to blow small things up, causing a lot of tension. After calming down, I simply ignore the email and change my mentality. Instead of focusing on her, I focus on my reporting officer who gives me room to breathe and grow. Ultimately, I see Christ in her and would like to learn patience and tact from her. She is the kind of leader I would like to follow and I visualize to be like her as a leader if I rise up to be a leader in the future. She is very balanced in her life with room for career, family, friends, etc. She has healthy attitude towards Christian living and live life and love others with sincerity from her heart. She is honest with what she is thinking and feeling. She is also very straightforward in correcting me with care for my well being when I have done something wrong and I appreciate that. If I continue to focus on my boss who goes crazy from time to time, I will never give myself room to grow and will go crazy with her. So, I have decided to ignore what she says if she is accusing me again and do my best. If she decides to sack me due to her unhealthy and tunnel visioned mentality, I will just take it as a sign for me to leave that workplace from God. Whatever I do, I have to face God and others with clear conscience. As long as I have done my best and give my all, I should not get too stressed out by her. I am giving myself room to change with my colleagues and reporting officer here until it is God's time for me to leave.
There is something funny going on at my workplace. In my team, only my male colleague and I are singles. My reporting officer has been trying to put us together. Our personalities complement each other. I am very disorganized and always charge ahead missing details and tough while he is very precise and methodical in his work and gentle. Sometimes, he really tests my patience as I find him too slow. So, my reporting officer thought we match each other. Sigh! I was saying in my heart, 'Knock! Knock! Don't push us too hard lah. If we are meant for each other, our relationship will grow and blossom lah. Give us some room lah.' So far, our friendship grows well and I leave the rest to God.
The above scenarios are all about 'Knock! Knock! Give me some room, please?' It is all about not pushing things too fast. I remember reading an article a few weeks ago on people feeling very stressed out even before reaching workplaces. I do agree with the people as I am experiencing the frustration nearly every morning. The stress comes from taking trains, buses and driving to work. Frustration comes in when everyone wants to get what he wants, pushing others around and scolding others for getting their ways at times. Sometimes, some people even take up a lot of space to stand in a circle just to chat with one another face to face in a sardine packed train. Some even scolded others. I almost get into accident many times as other cars suddenly cut the lanes suddenly and the buses or cars I am in almost bump into those cars. Ok, I am accident prone no matter where I go. Sigh! It is like a jungle, leaving no space to breathe literally! It's no wonder that suicidal rate is go higher and higher over time because most of us rush so much that we leave no room for others and ourselves to breathe. On last Sunday, I wanted to have a relaxing day away from the busy Singapore island. I got frustrated when a foreigner pushed me into the monorail as I was getting in. I just stared at her and shook my head. Her friend was even more ridiculous. An old lady who could hardly stand properly came in and her friend refused to give up her seat. I simply looked at her friend and her and shook my head. There were a few occasions in the train when I simply lost my patience and asked someone to give up their seats to the elderly folks and pregnant women or women carrying small kids.
In this modern world, it is no longer just knocking on the door and having someone to care and love us by providing for us in some ways, like food, attention, care, ears to listen, etc., as seen in Lazarus knocking on the door of the rich man to provide him with something. It is also giving people room to be quiet and grow and accept but not hurrying things beyond that person's capacity and pace to accept and ability. In the situation of buses, trains and any public places, there will be less stress and frustration for everyone if everyone learns to be patient and give space for each other to breathe instead of pushing around like babarians.
Sabbath Day is especially precious so that we will have rooms to breathe in the Lord and truly rest. Then, we may be energized and vitalized to move further in life with Christ in us with such rest at least weekly. The Lord can truly give us the peace to go out to the world and share this peace with others so that everyone can live in harmony out of Love instead of being self centered pushing everyone away just to get what one wants. Some people even rush into relationships and rush the growth and get married in a hurry and end up in divorce. My stand is that relationships of any kinds are meant for both parties to savour with taste and joy. They are meant to be nurtured out of Love and in Love. They are never meant to be rushed. Both parties give room for each other to slowly accept and grow. Sometimes, each party in the relationship grows at different pace. That is where patience is needed for giving the other person the room to grow. When every relationship is lifted up to God, God will marry the paces of both parties and help both parties in the relationship to grow together as one. When relying on Love as the foundation of the relationship, the Holy Spirit will guide each person in the relationship to handle and love each other at the right place, at the right time. It is never according to our time as we, as human being with limited capacity of mind and understanding, will never completely understand the condition of the other person within. So, by leaving room for God in the relationship, the Holy Spirit will guide us what to do in the relationship out of Love.
Feeling tired? Feeling agitated or stressed out often? The Lord always has room for you to rest. Also , by leaving room for others to grow and accept, you are leaving room for yourself to rest. If there is too much trash in your room within you, spend some time before the Blessed Sacrament or nature quietly with the Lord and he will give you the much needed room to rest and time to clean up your room within with his vacuum cleaner of Love.
With Love,
Elena
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