Friday, April 5, 2013

Time to take up Photography again as part of my meditation?


This week is really crazy. My MC on Monday caused to work doubly hard. It was also partly due to our General Assembly which ate ½ of y day today. Really bad timing as there are several releases to be uploaded to Internet which requires me to write some HTML which is foreign to me. So, I spent a lot of time talking to myself and doing it. I am totally drained now. Here, I am, sitting at a café with my root beer float and waffles at Orchard Cineleisure, waiting for a show to start as a refuge for me to hide away from the crowd.

I went for a photography talk at the Arts House on last Saturday. It was quite insightful. This photographer specialized in taking portraits. He takes photographs of people. He likes to take close up pictures which won him several awards. His tips for photography captured my attention. He talked about engaging all our senses when taking good photos. I do agree with him. In fact, I think that photography can serve as a kind of meditation for me to immerse with the nature and people. I always believe that when I take any photos, I am taking the ‘souls’ of the things and people. It was interesting that this photographer focuses on the eyes of the people. They are the windows to the soul of a person. I absolutely raise both my hands to it To me, the eyes tell more than any words from a person at times.
The photographer wrapped up the talk with giving thanks to God as He is the Creator. I was quite surprised by such statement coming from a professional photography talk. He is right by wrapping it up with that. Without a thanksgiving heart, we can never appreciate things and people in our lives no matter how beautiful they are. We will only take things for granted and abuse them in some ways. One way to appreciate the glimmer of the beauty of the magnificent God is through His creation. And, photography definitely has its purpose of allowing to slow our pace down, getting engaged with the people and nature through our five senses, being one with God through His creation.

I think I need to pick up photography again. I used to go for a basic course. However, I forget the techniques as I have not used the professional DSLR camera for years. I have returned what I have learnt to the instructor. Nowadays, my workload may be heavy. If not, my morning daily will always be a rush. All my colleagues know that I get very stressed out every morning as my job requires speed. Sometimes, at the high speed I go about at work, I would not be surprised I am speeding myself to hell. Sometimes, other colleagues thought that I was impatient waiting for my turn to wash my mug and water flask. After talking to me, they realized that the nature of my work is such that I have to finish my news monitoring at certain time daily in the morning. It’s even worse at times with more urgent things coming in. I have to work doubly hard clearing the more urgent tasks on top of the  news monitoring. My boss is quite kind. She is trying to look for ways to reduce the intensity of my news monitoring daily. Most people would always look forward to Friday as it means the beginning of weekend. For me, it is not so. It is always my peak period as I need to consolidate and summarize the news and updates from various sources into two separate emails to be sent to all staff in Singapore and all PR PICs in the Asia Pacific region respectively at the end of the day. I simply have got no luxury to slow down and have a proper breakfast, Breakfast is just for me to have food into my stomach to sustain my speed at work. There is no enjoyment at all. I always admire people who have time to go out to cafes and enjoy nice chat over  a nice breakfast with their loved ones and friends. Sometimes, I don’t even have appetite for my dinner as I am too drained. I can go without food. But once I don’t have enough sleep, I will get all cranky and fall sick very easily.

My manager was quite bad this morning. She just looked at me and laughed. She told me I looked very stressed out. Yes, I was really very stressed out as I only had half a day to prepare my Weekly Updates on top of the news monitoring. I depended on caffeine for my speed. Monday is going to be worse with more releases to be uploaded by morning. HTML again! Who is that idiot who created HTML? I am dying from it. I am grateful to have my boss. I am supposed to be her assistant and yet she seldom asked me to assist her in her travel arrangement. Even my manager was quite shocked by it. I understand why. She knows that I am overloaded at times. For the past few days, she has been asking me not to stay too late. I also have no choice. If given a choice, I would want to go home early. I know it silly that I stay back for nothing without AWS, bonus and some benefits as a contract staff while other people have. But, I cannot stand it if I produce half past six results. I am a perfectionist and all my colleagues and boss know. They keep asking me not to be too hard on myself. I am trying not to be too hard but I keep forgetting it once I am into my work. My Xiao Di is damn funny lah. Both od us tend to stay very late to clear work and he keeps nagging me to go home and rest. Sometimes, when I cough very badly, I could hear him exclaim, ‘Aiyo!’ My Uncle Ted in our department also keeps asking me not to set my standard so high that it affects my health. My health is giving me signal to slow down. My cough and fever came back again last night. Managed to press it down with ginger boiled with brown sugar and cough syrup. Uncle Ted is down with bad lung infection. Xiao Di and I got the same cough as Uncle Ted but our cough is not as serious as Uncle Ted's. Ok, time to slow down.

I have just known a brother. He is in RCIA. He is my vendor for printing bags and diary cases. We will always chat with each other after our business talks. We divide business and personal matters very clearly and he knows my high standard of work. Very funny He told me I gave him a lot of stress when it comes to business. When it comes to personal matters, he would cheer me up and advise me. We address each other as brother and sister. I enjoy this friendship. He suggested we go Bangkok next month. I agreed but don’t know it will materializes he seems fickle minded. The strange thing is that we know each other for less than 3 months and yet we share a lot of our ups and downs together. We are pen about our past. He also shared about the naughty things he had done in the past and his past hurt. I really appreciate that. He also shares my share of sorrow now. I really appreciate his care and effort in cheering me up. He is damn Ah Beng but smart and witty. If he really plans for the Bangkok trip, I will just go with him. It should be fun as he seems familiar with that place and he wants to bring me to various places. My Xiao Di was quite shocked when he heard I may be going overseas with this brother of mine. My boss and manager teased me that he might be my ‘soulmate’. For me, I do not think much. I just want to enjoy this friendship. That crazy guy was even hurraying about us having the same heart condition. Stupid lo. I even asked him if he wanted to pop a champagne celebrating it. He is really interesting.

Ok, got to go. Movie’s going to start soon.  I better rest early tonight as I am planning to start training myself for JP Morgan competitive run. It is my first competitive run. I have promised a sickly friend that I would carry him in my prayers for this run. I better prepare myself by starting my run tomorrow. Have a great weekend ahead!

With Love,
Elena

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