Finally, can get to clear some work now. Suffering from asthma and fever. Took MC for today and rested for the whole day. Hopefully, can get back to work tomorrow as I am still having fever. In Singapore, it is true that we have time to die but no time to fall sick. I was having asthma since morning yesterday. Only got to see the doctor in the afternoon as I needed to clear some urgent tasks which were time sensitive in the morning. I got very stressed out. Doctor wanted to give me inhaler but I did not know how to use it. So, he gave me asthma tablets, Ventolin. He warned me of the side effect of tremor and heart palpitation. True enough. I had heart palpitation and tremor. It was very tough to work with the side effects. I was feeling giddy most of the time. I had at least 5 types of medicine and anti-biotics for my asthma and allergy. Just endure lo. It's not like I a dying. I should count my blessings that I am still able to run around. My boss was very kind. She knew I was suffering from the side effects and feeling very weak. When she saw me still around at 7plus in the last evening, she nagged at me, asking me to go home. I just replied I would. By 8plus in the evening when she was going off for the day, she came to Xiao Di who was also sick and me and started nagging at us to go home. Even my Xiao Di kept on nagging at me. I just wanted to clear my work with some energy. No matter what, nobody covers my duties and my work will only pile up. So, I better clear as much as I can so that I do not have to depend on caffeine to help me speeding up to clear upcoming tasks and backlogs. I know my boss may not renew my contract. But, as much as I can, I will want to do my best. I am blessed to have such considerate boss and colleagues.
Sometimes, we do take things for granted especially when they are readily available such as the air. My asthma has taught me even air is a gift from God. It is readily available and I do not have to buy it. It is breath of Love from God. On Sunday night, I was struggling to breathe as my airway was blocked. It served as a reminder that even simple breath can be a blessing from God. Human beings tend to be greedy. We look for more and more that we may neglect the very small little things and people in our lives. Yes, simple things like air and water are available. Try asking people with asthma and bronchitis and they will tell you every breath becomes so precious. Water may be clean in Singapore but may not be readily available in other countries, especially the third world countries. I remember watching this documentary about the living conditions in this remote part of China when I was having my holidays in Hong Kong. The colour of the water available for the villagers in that remote village was the milk tea colour. They bathed, washed clothes and drink from the same river. I imagined myself there. I think I would die there. But, surprisingly, these villagers survived in that tough environment.
In our modern world, especially in developed countries, are our pace of living getting too fast that we have failed to appreciate simple things like fresh air and water? Some of us even waste water which is so precious to the developing countries. Have we taken for granted what is readily available for us? I have watched a TVB show. I can't remember the title. One part of it was a 17 year old boy went to a poor village in China to experience life there in a reality show. It was very tough on him as he had to shower with cold water, no mobile phone and computer games for him, no air con for him. He could not get used to it and got into many troubles. The most touching was he was touched by the generosity and mercy from them despite hurting the people there. Instead of revenge, they looked for him frantically and worried about his safety instead of bearing grudges against him for hurting them. The boy was transformed in the end after communicating and living with these villagers with sincere heart.
This set me thinking, in society where things are always available for us and social media and games for us to indulge in, are our hearts becoming so small that there is no space for forgiveness and mercy towards others? Are we indulging into such virtual world and material world which are without human touch that we become cold? Do we need to wait till illnesses or even death strike us before we learn to appreciate every small little thing and person in our lives?
Life, itself, is a struggle. Why do we make things difficult for one another? Why can't we just forgive one another and reconcile? I have never understood why. Is fame, popularity, wealth, material wants, etc. really more important than Love? Sometimes, people care for others by looking at who they are serving, i.e. people of certain status. I am quite sick of the society I am living in. It's always a rat race. It's always about gaining favour from certain leaders and fight against others. I am also sick of seeing things in my church where everyone should be loved in Christ way and yet people still discriminate against certain people and cause divisions and form elitist groups. I am just too tired. Where is God? Is there really love? God, show me the way to Love.
God bless,
Elena
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