We have entered into the period of Advent. To me, this period of time until Christmas Day is all about waiting. This waiting is the joyful anticipation of the birth of Jesus Christ. Within this joyful anticipation, it does not mean that life is smooth sailing. Rather, this joyful anticipation gives me the hope that no matter how tough times can be, this joyful anticipation of the birth of Jesus Christ brings me the hope that there is always this glimmer of light within this darkness. Things or situations may seem to be bleak around me, such as the death of loved one, unemployment, failing my exams, broken relationships, etc. Instead of focusing on the darkness, I should learn to set my focus on the light which is Jesus Christ.
I have the privilege to have a taste of what joyful anticipation is like close to my heart. Currently, my family members are waiting for the birth of my niece which should be due in early February next year. Nevertheless, my sister who is waiting in joyful anticipation of the birth of my niece suffers from some discomfort and the heaviness of the stomach as the child in the womb is growing heavier each day. Sometimes, she would fall sick from time to time. It comes to my mind that it applies to all of us who are waiting in joyful anticipation of the birth of Jesus Christ. We may feel heavy with sins and may fall sick spiritually or even physically under the effect of sins. I may have offended or wronged someone and yet I have not reconciled with that person. I feel heavy and tortured with the sins of unforgiveness. If this continues, I will fall sick by being consumed by anger or bitterness and may even spread it to the others by spreading rumours about that person or instigate the others to go against that person. Then, it may result in division within the community.
Sometimes, in order to protect myself, I may blame on the others, situations or even on luck. Instead of being a coward shifting all blame on everyone or everything else where I may never grow or be truly transformed, I must learn to see that I do play a part to such bleak situations or such negative perception of situations. I must reflect and see what I can do to improve situations so that I will not repeat the mistakes. If I am really not part of any contribution to the situation such as the death of my loved one, I must learn to lift myself up to God for healing and let go of my deceased loved one to God slowly for God to take care of His child instead of clinging obstinately to the deceased and allowing myself to wallow into self pity or depression. In this case, it is about letting go slowly for God to heal me and to set my focus right on God again and not on the deceased loved one over God. It is all about setting my focus right on God.
This period of Advent is a good time for me to quiet down and look into my life deeply and see which areas of my life are still in darkness where I should open them up for God to shine into these areas for transformation to happen deep within. Imagine if I am so heavy with and tortured by my sins or choose to live in darkness, can I ever join the community and celebrate Jesus’ birth with true joy without the burden of sins and hurt? I see such period of Advent as God’s gift for me to slow down and spend quality time with Him so that the experience with Him is truly transformative and healing, especially after going through the Sacrament of Reconciliation and healing.
While I set my focus on the birth of Jesus Christ, I must also learn to find peace within the process towards it. This peace can only be found in Jesus Christ. The crucifix should always give me the hope that if his birth led to his death for him to conquer death, what is in my life that is so great that he cannot conquer? The process may be painful, for instance, getting rid of habitual sins or letting go of some people, I must give thanks to God that I am still given the opportunities from God for me to be closer to Him. I must also learn to appreciate the friends and loved ones around me who go through them with me instead of focusing too much on the ends which is my place in heaven. If I only focus on the ends, I will pursue it as if it were my personal goal and anyone who hinders me may be hurt or destroyed by me. I must remember God is Love. The reason the present time is known as ‘present’ because the present time is God’s present for me to fix broken relationships with God and people and enjoy God’s Love through His creation for me to be closer and closer to Him. It is not just about me pursuing my personal goal at the expense of everything and everyone else. One of the reasons why a mother is so close to a child is because the mother goes through the pain and thick and thin with the child who shares everything within her womb as part of her. Though painful and falling sick from time to time, the mother will still experience such joy within this pain and suffering out of Love. In a way, the mother is enjoying the proces of carrying the child deep within her with such strong bond with this particular child that no other people can experience. Imagine if her focus is only on getting the baby out of her and only the pain and suffering. I can say that she has missed out the joy of carrying this child as part of her which is part of the msytery of Love while this child shares everything with her as one with her within her womb.
Jesus Christ is the example for me to follow. Though he is the King of Jews, he did not do anything to usurp the throne. Rather, he even died with the two criminals beside him while going through all levels of humiliation and torture and being stripped naked in death without any sins. He simply lifted himself up to God. He had never pursued anything for his own benefits alone. Well, he had the power to do so and yet he chose to obey God’s will with a high price. I am not saying that we should not have any personal goals. It is good to have goals in life but I must never pursue such goals when it is not God’s will for me at the expense of everyone.
This period of Advent is God’s gift for me to slow myself down and look into my life and see which areas of my life need healing or transformation so that my relationship with people and God will improve. It is time for me to listen to that small little voice deep within me and be guided by the Holy Spirit so that the celebration of Christmas is truly filled with meaningful joy.
With Love,
Elena
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