Never belittle the power of dreams, no matter how small these dreams seem to be. These dreams come from the desires that we have deep within us. These dreams give us the glimmer of hope for us to move on, especially during tough times, from time to time. Without any dreams, life may seem meaningless and we may live like walking zombies. These desires within these dreams are not planted within us by coincidence. They are the very catalysts which lead us to our vocations and attaining small little goals from God for us to achieve in life though they may not lead us to what we want at times.
One of my spiritual directrors shared with us that her desire was to get married and have her own children as she loves children. She had never thought of becoming a religious sister. This desire of hers did not lead her to marriage but lead her to becoming a religious sister where she has many children wherever she goes. Sometimes, a man may dream to be a priest where he can serve God by being a shepherd to the people. However, after his discernment, he may end up being a shepherd to his own family which he has set up with his spouse and be a shepherd to his children and spouse first where he is called to bring up and nurture his children with Love so that they will share this Love from him with the others. He may be filled with such deep joy and overflowing Love from sharing the intimacy with his spouse that he may be called to share such joy and Love from this intimacy with the others as a speaker for family life talks or marriage encounter which touch married couples. These are some examples where it starts from a dream with a desire though the results may not be what we have expected.
Dreams can work in either way. When dreams are pursued according to what I want at the expense of the other people against God's will, they may become destructive and hurt or kill others in many ways. The focus is on me. It gets me to be more and more self centered as I pursue these dreams for my own benefits. These dreams turn into demons which devour me. For instance, I may dream to be a rich person. I want it so much that I use underhand means to murder my own father so as to gain his inheritance. The other example example would be I accuse my manager for making a major mistake that I have made to protect myself and get him out of the organization so that I may take over his position. These are the examples where I place myself above others and God, causing division within the community and hurt or kill others physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. These dreams work against me and hinder me from entering the narrow gate to the heaven. I miss the narrow gate totally where my vision is only set on my dreams for my own benefits.
However, if I appreciate myself as a child of God and thank God for creating me, I am always aware that God is the Creator and will give me what is the best for me at anytime for 'What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the holy Spirit to those who ask him?' (Luke 11: 11-13) This convinces me that He is my heavenly Father who knows me thoroughly and 'Even all the hairs of your head are counted.' (Matthew 10:30). I must learn to surrender all my dreams and desires to Him, not just my fears and worries. By lifting all my desires and dreams up to God, I acknowledge that God is in control and I have placed Him above myself and everything else. Other than lifting them up to God, I must pray for the courage and openness for Him to make use of my dreams and desires to share His Love with the others with my gifts and talents that ultimately lead me to bear fruits in life and live my life to the fullest with what I am blessed with. I must never forget that I am here not for myself but to love God and others so that I can expand the Kingdom of God and get myself ready to enter the narrow gate to the heaven. I may think that I know what I want. Since God is my Father who always love me, doesn't He know better what is the best for me? What makes me so sure that what I want is the best for me? What makes me think that I know better than God who is my Creator what is the best for me and what really fills me deep with joy? One fundamental question I can ask myelf is whether I can ever count the number of hairs on me like God does. Do I really know myself better than God?
Sometimes, we do see some people going to the extremes to get what they want. They may seem to be getting greedier and greedier. For example, a woman dreams to be the most attractive woman around so that people may like her. She may think that she needs to go through plastic surgery on her nose after she had gone for a plastic surgery on her eyes. Then, after the nose surgery, she may inject botox to lift her skin. It seems that she is never contented and she is doing more and more to get herself more attractive. The other case may be a man may have earned $5,000 monthly which is enough for him to indulge in his material comfort. But, he is still not happy and wants more. So, he works harder at the expense of his quality time with his friends and family and earns up to $8,000 monthly. And yet, he still thinks it is not enough and he works even harder and wants to get rid of his colleague to get his position. Then, he becomes unscrupulous and frames his colleague and takes over his position and yet he is not happy and wants more. In all these cases, they want more and more to fulfill their desires within. However, they have already focused on the wrong things. The real issue is to fill that insecurity deep within and the yearning to be appreciated and loved. They may have managed to fill the wants in them on a superficial level but such happiness is superficial and temporary and does not fulfill a person deep within. And, they may misunderstand that they may need more and more of such things to fill them deep within. Little do they realize that they are filling themselves with the wrong things when they actually need God's Love to fill them deep with joy and to appreciate themselves as a child of God and realization of God's Love for them.
All of us have our own dreams which give us insight into our desires. Dreams paint our lives with colours of hope. They may not be what we have been imagining them to be. Rather, they are the pushing force to keep us going in life no matter how tough times seem to be. Most importantly, God knows the best how these dreams may fill us deep with joy from time to time as gifts from Him to us as part of the mystery of Love. They may not be what we have expected but they are definitely better than what we have expected. Personally, I am filled with joy from time to time as some of my little dreams have been fulfilled. I used to dream of seeing myself singing or acting on stage in front of many people which I dread to do so in real life. Well, God had fulfilled my dream by having me acting in a small role in two church plays though I sing horribly like slaughtering chicken. I am very happy to have given such opportunities though the role I played was very small only in front of a small group of people. I do not look forward to acting or singing on a stage at an international level. I am happy enough to be on a stage performing in a very small role in front of a small group of people. I had a dream of having high tea buffet in a nice restaurant and God had fulfilled that with my best friend treating me in such restaurant on my birthday. God has fufilled my many small dreams in many small ways. One thing I learn is that it may not be as grand as I want or in the ways that I have expected them to be, as long as I count my blessings and give thanks to God, such small happiness becomes joy filled within. I enjoy my blessings instead of brooding over what I do not have or things that do not go my way or not as grand as I think. Sometimes, I even think that even if I manage to perform on a stage at an international level, I may not be able to handle it and may not enjoy the joy within the process under much more stress. It may be too much for me to handle. Only God knows what is the best for me.
Well, I still have dream unfulfilled. I dream to set up a family with my own spouse and have my own children in my own house and being a strong career woman.Though I have such dream, I do not insist on it as these should be blessings from God. Who knows He may use this dream of mine to lead me to religious life where the Love within me is best shared with others by becoming a religious sister where I have children wherever I go or a consecrated layperson where I practise celibacy to share the Love with the others and every place is my home whereever I am called to evangelize or do mission work, given my talents, gifts, personality, etc.? When I surrender my dreams to God, the Holy Spirit will guide me to fulfill my dreams out of Love and I will be on the right track towards fulfilling such dreams which will truly fill me deep with joy and live life to the fullest where I get to taste paradise on earth from time to time while walking towards holiness. I will be drawing myself closer and closer to God.
Have the courage to dream and surrender the dreams to Him. He knows us the best. Nobody is too worthless to dream and you will never know how God can use your dreams for you to shine as a light to the others and fill you deep with Love and joy. Whenever you are in doubt or not confident if God will fulfil your dreams in the best loving way where you will be filled with joy with no other ways and taste the paradise on earth, always meditate on ''What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the holy Spirit to those who ask him?' (Luke 11: 11-13) for He is Love who is our Heavenly Father who has created us out of Love.
With Love,
Elena
No comments:
Post a Comment