31 October 2010
Lk 19:1-10
The gospel reading for this Sunday speaks to me powerfully. How many times have I asked myself why these people who have hurt me and others or who have commited crimes or sinned in any ways deserve such forgiveness from the others and God? Am I guilty of asking God why these sinful people in my eyes deserve to have such grace and mercy from God and others? How about me who have been faithfully spending regular time with God before the Blessed Sacrament, regular confession, daily participation in the mass, serving in ministries, etc. ? In comparison, what have these people have done to be welcome back to God and church again and again? Why do some priests even mingle with such sinners? Why are they still qualified to serve in some ministries?
I think some of us may be guilty of asking such questions from time to time. If that is the case, I would have missed the whole picture of what Christianity is all about. God does not love me for what I have done. He loves me as who I am as a child of God. If I really want to pursue such questions above, I should also ask myself what I have done to deserve the breath of life that I have to begin with. If I ask those questions above, I am sinning. Why is that so? I do not forgive those people and judge them harshly. By the way, who am I to judge them? By judging them myself, I have biases in me. This is dangerous. How many people have caused politics and conflicts out of such judgement and biases? Personally, I do get sick of seeing how some people have been nasty towards others by circulating nasty emails to smear the reputation of the people, how some people have been kicked out of minsitries, how certain leaders have chosen to serve their pets ostracizing the people they dislike, how some people have spread rumours about others without finding out the truth, how some people have tried to win more people to their sides to go against others, etc. Such behaviour comes from these biases and judgement and self righteousness deep with. The spiritual state of this person is no longer Christ-like but distorted and tainted. How many people have fallen victims to all these hurts and abuses?
If God were to be behaving or seeing things that way, I should say that all the people would have been condemned to hell as none of us is perfect. We have our own flaws. We do sin from time to time with our fallen nature. Notice when Zacchaeus was sincere in repenting by saying to the Lord, "Behold, half of my possessions, Lord, I shall give to the poor, and if I have extorted anything from anyone I shall repay it four times over.", Jesus did not judge him or ostracized him at all and could have condemned him and even found his house too dirty for him to enter into as a Son of Man. Instead, 'Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house because this man too is a descendant of Abraham. For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save what was lost."' This illustrates God's infinite mercy and generiosity out of Love for all of us. If He is so merciful to me, why can't I be generous to extend this mercy to the others? Why must I be so harsh on those people that I have to murder them at different levels with harsh behaviour and words which kill them at different levels, be they spiritual, emotinal, mental or even physical? Am I not a sinner through such harsh and extreme behaviour and words? Never belittle the judgement or biases or self-righteousness that I have deep within as they may turn into expression of harsh and extreme behaviour or words that kills the other parties.
God does not love me based on what I am doing to earn His Love. If God were to see me as holier than the others just because I have been faithfully spending regular time with God before the Blessed Sacrament, regular confession, daily participation in the mass, serving in ministries, etc., what is the point of having Sacrament of Renconciliation? God would have allowed these 'holier' people into heaven and sent the rest to hell. It is just as simple as that. Rather, He loves me as who I am as a child of God. When I am truly transformed and tenderized by God's Love with my sincere confession and true repentant of my sins deep within, I will truly experience God's Love deeply and appreciate other people as creation of God and learn to love them as children of God like me in Christ way. I no longer judge and see myself as holier than them. Rather, I see myself just as capable of sins and broken who need God just like them. Then, I will see them and myself as parts of the body of Christ with Christ as the head and pray for them and help them when called forth instead of ostracizing and abusing them. God is Love and Love is expressed through mercy and forgiveness not just from God to me, but also through me to the others.
With Love,
Elena
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