I have been in my current company for slightly more than 3 months. I am still dumped with more roles to the current 5 to 6 roles that I am holding on. Somehow, throughout my life, I seem to have to be called to multi task alot with tasks of totally different natures. I also don't know how I have survived till now. I think that is what I recognize by miracle with God, especially when I am easily distracted. No matter what, this has helped me to work smart and be creative to get all the tasks completed. But, it comes with a price. Somehow, I am too task oriented and tend to neglect interpersonal relationships. I am often called to leadership role unofficially be it in school, workplace, church, etc. I am even surprised that some of my reporting officers do come to me for advice at times. Nothing to be proud of. But, I am quite stressed out. If I give the wrong advice, the consequences would be dire as what they say and how they behave will affect many more people under them. That is why I must make sure that I keep close to God so that I will not lead others to hell wth me which also lead others to hell with us.
Leadership when called forth is never to be belittled or self centered. It may look glamorous and priviledged to be up there. But, often, it can be a lonely place if self centered. Over the years, God has been training me to be a more people leader, even through hard knocks. I remember there was an incident when I was a leader for a school project. We realized that one of my project mates did not do his part for that project just one hour before our submission. I was very angry and scolded him. Then, I took over and managed to complete that part on time for submission. After a few weeks, then I was told that his mum passed on during the period of time when our project was going to be due for submission. I felt sorry for him and guilty for my lack of understanding towards him before I opened my mouth to shoot him. That poor guy simply kept quiet and hid. My perfectionsitic streak as a leader got me into trouble. The tasks at hands became more important than the people under me. Even my team mates told me the standard that I had set for the project was too high for some of them to meet. Some of them got hurt. I had failed as a leader during those times as I had failed to take care of their growth and well being.
Many people are still coming to me for advice. Though I am not a leader in the church, many youths and people do come to me and confide in me. If I am not careful and not right with God, I may lead them astray or even lead them to go against others who do not agree with me. I know I am not a good person and yet I thank God for trusting me with these people so that while leading these people, I may also be transformed with them. It is not about me being so high up there impossible for them to reach. Some of my youths did tell me that certain leaders just behaved as if they were just too high up there for them to reach. They were also hurt that they were being judged and barred from serving in certain ministries. At the back of my mind, I am thinking, 'Does it help to drive these 'unqualified youths' out of the ministries and treat them as goats? Where do they go to after that? Where is Christ teaching? Why is Love? Why can't the leaders take time to mould them into leaders so that they may lead other youths who may be walking similar paths as them to the right path towards holiness?' Over the years, I discover that ultimately the leaders who reject them are the ones who are not growing and they tend to be the very ones who behave like the scribes and pharisees who
'tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues,greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation ‘Rabbi.’
They are the very leaders who inhibit the expansion the Kingdom of God. I did warn a few of these leaders subtly but they refused to listen. In the end, the groups almost could not survive under them. I also realize that the leaders that they choose in their groups tend to behave like them, choosing their so called 'elites' into their groups. Little do they realize that they are inhibiting the growth of their groups under them which thus hindering the expansion of the Kingdom of God. How can the groups grow creatively with breakthroughs if only all the like-minded people with similar backgrounds and social classes and wealth come together? It is just like putting all the hands of the body of Christ together without the other parts of the body. Jesus is definitely not the head in such groups as the leaders whom they have worshipped become the heads. It just shows the lack of faith in these leaders for God to take control. When looking into the private lives of these leaders at a deeper level, one should not be surprised that they tend to be insecure deep within and control freaks without much faith in God taking over the control. I am not saying that we choose any Tom, Dick or Harry or people who do not have the same vision and mission to serve into the groups. I am just saying that some people who are rejected and get hurt and come to me do have the desire to serve. After those leaders have left, I do see these people who have been rejected serving well in the ministries and growing happily with the others. Ultimately, the leaders who continue their ways of despising and kicking people out will never grow, inhibiting the expansion of the Kingdom of God. They continue to accept only people who agree with them and worship them, just like the scribes and pharisees with 'the salutation ‘Rabbi.’' from their worshippers. Transformation in these leaders will only take place if they start accepting and loving other people along the way and learning to work with the others outside their usual groups of 'elites', relying on the power of God to perform miracles, resulting in breakthroughs in the groups. This will thus strengthen their own faith with more and more confidence in God, surrendering more and more of themselves with more and more spaces in them for God to work through the Holy Spirit.
I have many flaws and try to improve. I know that I tend to be harsh when it comes to advising people as I tend to use my head alot. But, it is the heart that speaks right into the hearts of matters in people. My workplace has become a training ground for me to learn how to be more people-oriented. As a leader or counselor or advisor, I must be careful with my words. If not, I may lead people who are already very vulnerable and at the verge of suicide to feel more hopeless and kill themselves if I dash their little hope and comfort that they try to find from me with my reckless and harsh words and behaviour. Sometimes, I do come across cases where people are walking on the thin string of death and life where they look for me for hope and support. That is when I need to hang on to God even more tightly so that God will put words into my mouth to speak the words of hope out of Love to them without any harsh judgement. As mentioned, I tend to use my head alot which explains why I am not aware of being too harsh on my words. I am also not one who will know how to use bodily touch such as hugs or holding hands or patting on the shoulders of others to comfort people unless the other party request for a hug where I allow them to do so and become stiff or I force myself as prompted within my heart to to do so in desperate situations where some people are screaming for help or personal human touch. I am still learning.
All the leaders in any fields are also human beings, be they CEOs, ministerial leaders in churches, psychologists, doctors, counselors, etc. They are also learning. They also need feedback and support from the people under them so that they will grow with the people. It is up to the leaders if they choose to be self centered protecting their pride without learning from the others and loving at all or Christ centered to learn from Christ in the faces of the wise people with the courage to speak up when necessary under them out of Love. Always remember that leaders are not supermen who are just fictional characters created by the ideals of man. Wise leaders are often the people who are courageous to own their mistakes and are willing to learn from their mistakes and others so that they will grow and lead others to grow in Wisdom. They tend to be true to themsleves and others walking in truth. They take conscious efforts to spend more time with God and allow the Holy Spirit out of Love to guide them in their daily lives.
Recently I have read an article from the July-August 2010 issue of the Harvard Business Review magazine. It was an interview with the Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz on the challenges of leading a turnaround at the company he made a household name. The message of "We Had to Own the Mistakes" strikes out in the articles. Throughout the article, Howard Schultz kept on emphasizing on being true to the staff and the customers. It is about getting into the hearts of the customers for them to continue enjoying the true customized homely experience at Starbucks outlets where these outlets continue to be relaxing third places other than homes and workplaces without compromising the quality of the products and friendly services. Even the commercial world is adopting being walking in truth owning mistakes committed. What more for a Christian who should make conscious efforts to walk Jesus' Way, Truth and Life to pass through the narrow gates to heaven.
All of us are learning. Even the leaders in various fields are not exceptional. Now, the question is whether we extend the infinite mercy of God which God has forgiven us 'seventy-seven' times to the leaders who are struggling and making conscious efforts to change so that they learn and have the platforms or spaces given by all of us to grow and be transformed deep within and lead others to grow which thus, expanding the Kingdom of God out of Love from all of us as parts of the body of christ with Christ as the head. Before we start to judge our leaders, we should ask ourselves how we address them. Are they 'St (name)....."? If not, they are also in the midst of their walking towards holiness, struggling like all of us? :)
With Love,
Elena
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