My friend and I decided to go for a KTV session at Party World at the last minute at NEX on last Friday night as we were very stressed out with work and decided to have a KTV session as an outlet to de-stress. By the time we finished our KTV session, it was already 2plus in the morning the next day. I went home by taxi. While travelling, I was thinking, 'OMG! This driver is speeding at a high speed of 100km/h. It even went up to almost 120km/h.' I was feeling unwell especially when I was quite feeling quite full and he was speeding all the way, even down certain slope towards a tunnel. Certain parts of the road were bumpy. I was feeling nauseous.
Certain pictures flashed back in my mind during the ride and I freaked out. I recalled the incident when my family and I were in a taxi travelling along a road towards Tampines to visit my aunt during Chinese New Year a few years ago. It was a wet weather. The taxi suddenly skidded and it cut at a high speed across the curb right to the other side of the road which was for the vehicles to travel opposite direction. The taxi almost overturned. According to my sister who was involved with a serious accident, the taxi should have overturned. Somehow, we were protected and the taxi did not overturn and there were not any vehicles coming towards us. If not, I could not imagine what could have happened to us. This whole scene played in my mind while the taxi continued to speed on the last Saturday morning. I was praying to God to keep me safe.
This calls to my mind that sometimes we may have certain experiences or people in our lives which are similar to certain experiences and people in the past, especially the bad ones. Somehow, our minds will automatically bring these pictures to our minds at times. It is good in a way that it protects us from similar harm out of our self protection instinct. However, we may fall into the danger of presuming that things will always happen in the same bad ways or judging some people who are similar to the ones who gave us hell in the past prematurely leading us to biases and hurt. If we fall into such patterns, we may choose to escape and never grow out of them or hurt those people whom we presume are going to be those people who had given us hell.
My question is : Is such presumption sensible? Is there a way to break the vicious cycle and grow out of it or do we just presume that things will happen in the same ways forever and choose to escape? Even if I manage to escape, how long can I escape? How can I lead life to the fullest if I keep on escaping? How many more people do I have to hurt to learn not to escape and presume but to face the music and surrender them to God? In the case of my fear in the speeding taxi where the taxi driver seemed to enjoy his roller coaster ride, I chose to hand it over to God. I could have alighted the taxi as I was very scared within with the flashback in my mind. The fear was so real. In the end, I prayed and let God handle the situation. I reached home safely though I felt giddy after alighting the taxi. The taxi driver even joked with me and made sure that I did not leave any belonging behind and saw me getting into the lift safely before driving off. Ultimately, I learn that we may bump into situations or people similar to bad experiences or people in the past from time to time. Whether I learn lessons and grow through the experiences will depend on how much faith I have in God and how open I am for God to work in my life and how much courage I have to open myself up again.
Nothing is greater than God. So, no matter how big I think my issues may be, God is always greater than them. I always love to meditate on Psalm 23 regularly. It is God's message of love and encouragement with His assurance that I do not go through life alone even through the 'dark valley'. He is my rod and staff with me. 'Only goodness and love will pursue me all my life.' Whenever I bump into situations and people similar to the ones that gave me hell in the past, I must learn to see things and people afresh as every situation or person is unique no matter how similar things or people may be. By presuming and running away, I will only deprive myself of the miracles that God would like to perform in my life. I must pray to Jesus to open my eyes to see the truth and ears to listen to the truth and heart to accept the truth and for the Holy Spirit to guide me how to love others and God and grow to be more open. Even though certain bad experiences will come back to haunt me when bumping into similar situations and people, I lift my fear to God and ask Him to guide me to have breakthroughs in those areas so that I will not hurt anyone and myself and learn through these experiences and grow to be more complete. Running away or presuming does not mean that the issues do not exist. They are just accumulating under the carpet. It just means that I am not growing at certain levels and my mental, psychological and even spiritual states, behaviour and words stay at the level of childishness. Have you ever realized that people who have the tendency to escape from things and people behave and talk in childish manners even if they may have hit 50 years old? Nobody will be losing out but themselves as they have deprived themselves from growing with others and God towards holiness.
Anyway, I thank that 'devilish F1' taxi driver for teaching me that lesson. Though I was scared, it was a fact that the taxi did not skid or overturn and I reached home safely. It was not as bad as I thought. Certain fears which may not be even rational are just imaginary. With this roller coaster taxi ride, I thank God for reminding me not to judge people and presume things. Nobody knows what will happen next as God is a 'creative' God who will turn what seems impossible to human beings into miracles where everything is possible. I think that is the part of the mystery of Love where one can find deep peace and joy during the exciting roller coaster ride with God with a lot of twist and turns. So, hope on and have this absolutely safe ride of surprises with God. He will bring you through the narrow gate to heaven.
With Love,
Elena
No comments:
Post a Comment