Mk 6:45-52
Is my heart as hardened as how ‘their hearts were hardened’ in the disciples? How is my heart hardened? I think for me, my heart is hardened to a certain extent by the harsh environment I have been constantly exposed to, be it the merciless corporate world where some colleagues plot against the others to get their ways or my poor family where I have to work very hard to survive even in poor health as every family member works hard to survive or even some places where people are expected to love one another and serve others but some of them turn out to fight against one another to gain favour from the authority or to be superior or behave and say things that put the others down? I was exposed early to such politics even when I was a student in school.
So, over the years, my heart is hardened at times. I have learnt to tough and independent. I do not believe in depending on anyone. It’s either I swim or I sink by myself. This results in me not having compassion towards others at times and working in a business-like manner even when it comes to relationships. Some friends even find me cold without much sympathy when giving advice at times. I often do not know how to express my care and concern outwardly and my loved ones may doubt if I really care from time to time. Fear takes over at times as my hardened heart has blinded me from recognizing Jesus just like how the disciples ‘had all seen him and were terrified.’ In this morning, Jesus is telling me “Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!”
I can visualize Jesus is always with me like how ‘he saw that they were tossed about while rowing, for the wind was against them.’ If needed be, I would see him ‘walking on the sea’ towards me and help me through and calm my troubled sea. He is always there. He has been telling me “Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!” and I must constantly keep this in mind With him, I have no fear no matter what challenges are ahead of me for I am not going through this troubled sea alone but with Jesus. I must open up my hardened heart and allow Jesus to soak me in his love so that I can absorb this Love like a sponge and share this overflowing Love with the others, having more compassion towards others.
My Deputy Director sent a few of us who are Christians the passage below yesterday. The passage helps me to start this new year on a positive note with God. If you happen to read this blog entry (I doubt anyone bothers to read this blog as I am not a priest nor a religious sister or a seminarian since most people will only treasure what they write. Whatever…That doesn’t bother me.), I hope that you will be inspired by it and continue to appreciate and lead life to the fullest with childlike wonder and awe so that you may continue to live each day with surprises as gifts from God in the sea of the mystery of Love with the start of this new year. Here it goes:
Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive and accept and welcome the kingdom of God like a little child [does] positively shall not enter it at all. Mark 10:15 AMP
As we begin our walk with God in 2011 we need to guard our hearts against certain attitudes that will keep us far from His heart. These include the mind of the proud who wants to know it all; the opinion of the critic who wants to judge it all; the attitude of the narcissist who wants to be it all; the desire of the covetous who wants to have it all.
Instead, walk with God in 2011 as a child. Never lose the simplicity of trust and the world of wonder that a child lives in from day to day. Walk with your eyes on your Father—happy in His presence, content in His care, awed by His greatness, delighted by His surprises, secure in His love.
Let your prayer be similar to one spoken by Vance Havner, “Lord, let me never get used to living. Keep afresh in my heart a childlike wonder. Above all, let me never get used to being a Christian. Let me walk with a constant sense of surprise and expectancy. Why should there be a dull moment in the life of a Christian when every hour is a fresh adventure in faith and love?”
The following quote became the signature of the life of Gypsy Smith, the well known evangelist who lived into his eighties, “I have never lost the wonder.” May you never lose the simplicity of trusting His love and the wonder of watching Him work in marvelous ways.
Roy Lessin
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With Love,
Elena
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