I often joke with my close friends that the only consistency in my life is inconsistency. What I mean is there is a lot of changes in my life. They often laugh at it. Well, the truth is that throughout my life, I always have to go through a lot of drastic changes, whether I like it or not. Certain things are just beyond my control. One great lesson I learn from it is I must never take for granted that things and people are always there for me.
There were drastic changes such as from preparing for blood transfusion of blood due to serious jaundice at birth to sudden recovery from it the next day after taking just a sip of Chinese medicine secretly fed, sudden admission to emergency ward leading to sudden discovery of misdiagnosis of a rare congenital disorder, starvation to sudden inheritance of a small sum of money from an unrelated loved one, sudden death of friends and loved ones, sudden requirement of attention from me to friends who attempt suicide, handling people with rare disorders, etc. I will never know what will happen next. In terms of work and studies, I am often thrown into situations where I have to create systems, procedures or ideas out of nothing. For most of the systems or ideas that I have been putting in place over the years in different organizations, I never get to see the fruits as I am forced to leave the organizations prematurely due to restructuring, mismatch of job, closing down of department, etc. One weird thing is some colleagues had been doing some tasks for over ten years in the same ways without changes until I take over where I have to handle special cases which they had not handled before. Sometimes, I bumped into difficult bosses where they asked me for certain things at the last minute when I had little time to think through and had to respond fast. When I look back, it would not be possible for me to survive the turbulence without God in my life.
All these drastic changes do bring me praises from bosses and some people at times. I am definitely a person with average intelligence or, perhaps, even a bit lower than average. Somehow, when these changes come, the desperation drives me to be creative which surprises some bosses and people and even myself. I know that I could not have survived those changes without God. God gives me the hope. As long as I do not lose hope, there will always be a way when it may seem to be no way. In the doxology during the Eucharistic celebration, I guess this is what it means to 'wait in joyful hope' for the coming of Jesus Christ. It does not mean that I only wait in joyful hope during happy moments. It means that I wait in joyful hope at all times, even in tribulations and sufferings. As long as I hang on to this hope, I will always see breakthroughs in life. Miracles will happen with just a glimmer of hope. As a human being, I may be tired at times. That is when I need the community, friends and loved ones to walk with me. We are all in the same boat. All of us have our ups and downs at different times. When I am up, I can help the others who are down,. When I am down, the others can help me up. Even when Jesus was carrying the cross on the way, Simon had to help him with it. Christ is in everyone. He can appear in the form of our teacher, colleague, friend, enemy, etc. in our lives to love us in different ways, to help us to grow to be more complete and more and more like the image of God.
I remember one vivid incident where there was a Saturday when a group of my friends and I were celebrating a friend's birthday when the other friend received a call from his family that his dad died suddenly. The mood dampened as my friend left to rush home to see his dad. The birthday boy did not know how to react. In the end, all of us continued to lift the spirit up and continued with the celebration. On the next day, the same group of us went down for the funeral of my friend's dad. How drastic change can be! One thing that touched me was the love and support that this group of friends of mine have for one another, regardless of a birthday celebration during one moment or a funeral at the next. I feel a sense of Christian love from them though they are not Christians. I see Christ in them to bring hope and happiness to friends.
Christmas Day is coming soon. All of us are excited about it for different reasons. I was strolling with my best friend along Orchard Road today. I was quite impressed by the display of the statues of the nativity scene outside some shopping centres. That sight reminds me that Christmas is not just about having fun and shopping and buying gifts for friends and loved ones. It is all about this hope that the birth of Jesus Christ brings into the world. This birth ultimately sent him to his death which was essential to conquer death in Love to bring hope from his resurrection. It tells me that no matter how big my problems or issues seem to be, no matter how great or drastic changes continue to be, they are never greater than God as Jesus had even conquered death.
I often like the month of December as it is always rainy and cold. The spirit of Love through Christmas becomes more deeply felt with Love during this rainy and cold season as we embrace one another with hugs, kisses, actions, words or gifts of hope, love and encouragement out of the Love within us. The warmth out of this Love is experienced more prominently no matter how cold the environment may be. Don't you agree that it is more warm and romantic to experience the Love of God through Christmas with our loved ones and friends and community during this cold and rainy season?
Time to sleep. I had a happy and nice belated birthday celebration with my best friend. My reporting officer is coming back from her leave and I will be meeting her for the first time tomorrow. As my position is new, my job scope has still not been defined by my boss and reporting officer. Certain roles that I am taking on have not been fully handled by any colleagues. I can forsee more drastic changes coming in my way. Currently, my stress level is very high as my boss wants me to pick up things very fast and handle things with her which she is not really experienced in as she is also quite new to her position. I will also be assigned with tasks at a higher level which I do not really have confidence in. I am overloaded with information. Now, all I have to do is to go through the uncertainties with God who is with and in me. I know I can make it as He will never throw me into situations that I cannot handle. All I need is to remind myself to have the faith of a mustard seed and He will do the rest. If I can do it, so can you. Miracle is around the corner as long as I hang on to the Hope
With Love,
Elena
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