My break has finally come to an end. My new job starts tomorrow which marks the start of my new stage of life at a new workplace. Have been busy with spending time with family and friends for the past one week. Falling sick again due to lack of rest. Worse still, had sleepless night last night due to caffeine which aggravate my cough and flu. During December yearly which is also known as the Christmas season, most of us would be busy with buying gifts for our loved ones and friends. When it comes to gift, giving naturally comes to my mind. Well, gift is not just about giving but also receiving with gratitude. I am not a wealthy person. When I buy gifts for anyone, I always have to set money aside specially to buy gifts for my loved ones and friends. Buying gifts often take up a lot of my efforts and time. I often have to get to know more about what my friends and loved ones are going through and select gifts that speak to them words of concern and encouragement.
Friends and loved ones who know me very well know that I may be a joker in certain groups. When it comes to expression of deep feelings, I encounter a lot of problems. The worse thing is I have been scolded by a few loved ones or friends who are close to me with 'gifts do not buy friendships', 'gifts do not measure up to Love. If you want to care, you should care directly so that the person will know if you care.', 'I wonder if you appreciate what I have done.', etc. I get slapped with such remarks especially by guys. Some even scolded me in public. I often get very upset and helpless by such remarks. I also know that I should care directly. But, I am also frustrated by being tongue tied. Therefore, one of my ways of caring is through buying gifts that speak meaning and care to these loved ones and friends. Money to me does not come easy especially when I am poor. By parting with my money to buy gifts for them means that they are very important to me. They hold special positions in my heart. I do treasure them as gifts from God. It's indeed a blessing to have them around to share Love through gifts. I often have to search a few places and spend a lot of time before I decide to select those gifts for my loved ones and friends. Behind these gifts, it is the love that I am expressing to them. The essence is not the items that I have given but my care and concern that go to them with these gifts.Of course, giving gifts is just one of the ways to express love and care and it can never completely replace the need to communicate or spend quality time with the loved ones and friends
To me, gifts have another significance, especially after the death of my 'mummy'. It is a blessing to be still able to buy gifts and share my love with my loved ones and friends. Once they are gone through death, I can never experience such tangible expression of love again. Once they are gone, beside praying for them, I can never do things for and with them. I can never share my love with them through giving them presents. Therefore, to be able to give them gifts means that God is blessing me with this gift of sharing Love with the loved ones and friends through such tangible of receiving from or giving them gifts. I can still add such each happy moment on to the many happy memories that I already have from God as gifts. So, while these loved ones and friends are still around, it is a blessing to give them gifts as my gratitude that they are still in my life as God's blessings for me.
Other than our loved ones and friends, we must never forget the unfortunate ones and the poor. By looking at them, I should be thankful that I am blessed in so many ways. The sight of the poor and unfortunate ones serve as reminders to me that I should not complain about the things that I don't have or things don't go my way. How about them? Whe compared to them, shouldn't I be thankful to God for what I have? It is a blessing to give, especially to the unfortunate and poor ones, Christ is also in them. When we clothe them, we also clothe Christ. When we feed them, we also feed Jesus. What we do to them is also what we do to Christ as being a Christian is all about sharing Love. When I share what I have with these people, I acknowledge that they are my brothers and sisters. One dangerous thing is I should never see them as lower than me and give them things or help as a superior party to the inferior parties. In this way, I am judging to a certain extent and may have the tendency to look down upon them, acting as a god in some ways. If I am not careful, I may become arrogant and do charity out of showing others how great I am instead of genuinely helping them out of Love. I also learn and benefit from these unfortunate and poor ones. One lesson I can learn is to be contented with what I have. Only through contentment and gratitude towards God for what I have as compared to the unfortunate and poor ones, I can experience joy deep within. I know that what I have comes from God and I will be more generous to share such blessings with the others out of Love.
The penitential services will start in various parishes for one whole week from tomorrow onwards. This is one gift from God for me to spend more time with Him to examine my life and see what needs to be confessed through the service for Him to heal me so that I may rejoice with true joy without the burden of sins when Christmas Day comes. God has already blessed me with a gift beside this. That is my new job which helps me to start anew. After the penitential service on Tuesday, I can truly start anew. Letting go of sins and unforgiveness through the Sacrament of Reconciliation allows me to draw closer to God and people. I can also renew my relationship with the people and God.
No matter what, I thank God for gving me a new start in my life by blessing me with this Christmas gift in the form of my new job. Ok, I need to go and sleep for the fresh start in my new job tomorrow. :)
With Love,
Elena
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