Have been months since I penned down some thoughts. Not fantastic
in language since it has never been my forte. Sometimes, by penning down abstract
thoughts into words , my thoughts become clearer to me. Have been pretty busy
nowadays. Health has not been in good condition with virus getting into my
blood stream from food poisoning in Bangkok and hives visiting me from time to
time. Also quite busy with my nephew who is my godson. The hot topic in
Singapore is Primary 1 registration.
My godson will be getting into primary school next year. Many
schools have to conduct balloting sessions for children to get into schools,
even neighborhood schools, since they have been oversubscribed. The primary school just across the road happens
to be a well known school, Maha Bodhi School. Of course, we went through balloting
since 70 applicants were vying for only 51 vacancies. My godson had got no idea
what was going on. We, adults, were more anxious than him. For me, all I did
was to get him into happy state regardless of whether he got in or not. I
believe a child should be loved for who he is and it should never be based on traits
deemed desired by the society. If that happens, the child merely becomes an idealized
image which the parents or loved ones try or force to mold him into without any
regards to his potential. The ballot was done yesterday. So, on last
Saturday, I brought that naughty boy out for a nice haircut and bought a toy
which he had been eyeing on for two years. That was to prepare him for his new phase
of life he was getting into soon on a positive note. I told my sister, as a parent, she could just
do her best and leave the rest to God. My family was praying for him. And, he
got in!!
I guess to all of us, it is positive turn for our family.
Since we do not come from rich family, all of us had not got enough family support
and ended up in lousy schools. Not that neighborhood schools are bad. The fact
was that during my generation, more opportunities went to the deemed better
schools. It was worse when we ended up in Normal Stream where most teachers or
even principal couldn’t care more. I even overheard how some teachers condemned
students from Normal Stream. Even JC open house was not opened to Normal Stream
students during her announcement. Subjects offered were limited. I had ever
confronted my principal why only History was offered as humanity for Normal
Stream students. She offered it based on what she thought was easy for us as
History was all about memorizing and regurgitating during O Level exam. Little
did she realize that such generalization and bias got me into trouble as I was
very bad with memory work and was much better at analyzing matters. That was
the only C grade I got and I missed one point getting into JC. Even when I was
in primary school, I was very unhappy with a lot of recorrections without
pointing out where my mistakes were. Books were thrown out of the window or
right to my stomach. I missed recess most of the time. I was even punished for
things that I did not do. How can a student
grow up healthily in such harsh biased environment?
Nevertheless, not all famous schools are good in educating
children. I used to work in this famous school where it is known for its
academic studies and some CCAs. Some parents moved house to stay near the
school just to get their children into it. However, it is not as good as it
seems. One teacher ever shared with me she would not get her children into that
school. I happened to bump into my ex teacher there. I asked her how she
thought about the school. She shook her head and told me the school was in a
mess. Students had no respect for teachers and the attitude was arrogant in
general. As compared to Maha Bodhi School where she taught for years, she
enjoyed teaching there as character development was emphasized and the school
was more organized.
Yes, academic studies are important. But, character development
is even more important and should start from young. My family emphasize more on
character development. It is pointless to keep comparing with other children
about academic studies, appearance, wealth, etc. There are always people out
there better than us. It’s an endless, unhealthy competition. How will a child
ever enjoy his childhood if all he does at all times is just to attend all
kinds of courses just to be better than others? It is not wrong to go for
enrichment classes but it should not be forced on a child even if he does not
show potential in those areas. Character development is essential. Ultimately,
look at the children nowadays. More students excel in their studies and the
environment gets very harsh. It’s no longer a big deal that they excel in
studies, music and other areas. How does a child stand out and survive it all
despite changing harsh environment? That is when character development plays a
big part. With healthy attitude and approach towards life and people, a person
will stand upright despite storms from time to time in life. And, this starts
from young where all parents and educators play important roles in shaping
these children into future leaders or adults with sense of responsibility, care
and integrity with healthy ego and self esteem.
Maha Bodhi School’s teaching is based heavily on Buddhist
teaching. I am not a Buddhist but I do observe most students from that school
seem to behave well. The two kids staying a few units away from us turn out
well. They know how to respect people. I have seen enough spoilt brats from
workplaces, churches and schools in my life. They may excel in their studies
and careers but they go around hurting people just to get what they want. It’s
either their ways or no ways. Some of them are even proud of the monsters they
have turned out to be to others. I really wonder what they have been taught
since young. People are cursing them behind them. Though a Catholic, I believe
what goes around comes around. In other term, it is known as karma. If they don’t
change their unhealthy or destructive ways, it won’t be long before the
negative consequences catch up with them. I do get to see how they have
suffered in the end. The sad thing is innocent people get hurt by them in the
process. I do not see how ‘good’ luck these irresponsible or arrogant people
can be for long with curses from people. One must never get arrogant or take
people or things for granted as I will never know when I need these very people
whom I have hurt or condemned. One’s downfall can be as easy as being struck by
one major illness to wake him up that life is fragile and all will be gone with
death. No amount of wealth or high status can leave with that person.
My mum shared with me last night a speech delivered by a monk
who conducted the ballot. He questioned what parents asked their children the
first thing they entered the house from school. Was it about how well they had
done in school? Or out of genuine concern
for their children’s well being, they asked if their children were happy in
school. He talked about the most important thing about education is a child’s
development and well being. I agree with him. Suicidal rates are getting higher
over years. Some of my friends chose that path of no return. It is a fact that
more people are doing well in academic studies or career. But, how do we make
sure that these children are ready for such harsh environment or even to
improve on current situation so that the children will not end up taking their
own lives or landing themselves in a mental institute or jail. It all boils
down to character development. If the foundation is set right from young, a
person will have the healthy attitude or approach towards life and people with
healthy self esteem and ego. He will learn to be a wise and strong person to
survive any environment. We cannot
change others but we can always change ourselves and how we respond to
situations.
I am very happy for my godson that he is blessed with a good
school. It is a positive start for him next year as he steps into a primary
school for his formal education. I give all my blessings for him to get good
education and do well in life as a blessing to others. For my role as his
godmother, I will continue to educate him and impart moral values to him while
having fun with him for him to know that he is loved whenever he comes to my
house. Ultimately, it is not about winning the world that matters. The true
winner is one who gets better and better as time passes and a blessing to
others.
With Love,
Elena
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