Thursday, August 7, 2014

Character Development Is Essential To Start From Young To Marry Success With Joy In Life

Have been months since I penned down some thoughts. Not fantastic in language since it has never been my forte. Sometimes, by penning down abstract thoughts into words , my thoughts become clearer to me. Have been pretty busy nowadays. Health has not been in good condition with virus getting into my blood stream from food poisoning in Bangkok and hives visiting me from time to time. Also quite busy with my nephew who is my godson. The hot topic in Singapore is Primary 1 registration.

My godson will be getting into primary school next year. Many schools have to conduct balloting sessions for children to get into schools, even neighborhood schools, since they have been oversubscribed.  The primary school just across the road happens to be a well known school, Maha Bodhi School. Of course, we went through balloting since 70 applicants were vying for only 51 vacancies. My godson had got no idea what was going on. We, adults, were more anxious than him. For me, all I did was to get him into happy state regardless of whether he got in or not. I believe a child should be loved for who he is and it should never be based on traits deemed desired by the society. If that happens, the child merely becomes an idealized image which the parents or loved ones try or force to mold him into without any regards to his potential.   The ballot was done yesterday. So, on last Saturday, I brought that naughty boy out for a nice haircut and bought a toy which he had been eyeing on for two years. That was to prepare him for his new phase of life he was getting into soon on a positive note.  I told my sister, as a parent, she could just do her best and leave the rest to God. My family was praying for him. And, he got in!!

I guess to all of us, it is positive turn for our family. Since we do not come from rich family, all of us had not got enough family support and ended up in lousy schools. Not that neighborhood schools are bad. The fact was that during my generation, more opportunities went to the deemed better schools. It was worse when we ended up in Normal Stream where most teachers or even principal couldn’t care more. I even overheard how some teachers condemned students from Normal Stream. Even JC open house was not opened to Normal Stream students during her announcement. Subjects offered were limited. I had ever confronted my principal why only History was offered as humanity for Normal Stream students. She offered it based on what she thought was easy for us as History was all about memorizing and regurgitating during O Level exam. Little did she realize that such generalization and bias got me into trouble as I was very bad with memory work and was much better at analyzing matters. That was the only C grade I got and I missed one point getting into JC. Even when I was in primary school, I was very unhappy with a lot of recorrections without pointing out where my mistakes were. Books were thrown out of the window or right to my stomach. I missed recess most of the time. I was even punished for things that I did not do.  How can a student grow up healthily in such harsh biased environment?

Nevertheless, not all famous schools are good in educating children. I used to work in this famous school where it is known for its academic studies and some CCAs. Some parents moved house to stay near the school just to get their children into it. However, it is not as good as it seems. One teacher ever shared with me she would not get her children into that school. I happened to bump into my ex teacher there. I asked her how she thought about the school. She shook her head and told me the school was in a mess. Students had no respect for teachers and the attitude was arrogant in general. As compared to Maha Bodhi School where she taught for years, she enjoyed teaching there as character development was emphasized and the school was more organized.
Yes, academic studies are important. But, character development is even more important and should start from young. My family emphasize more on character development. It is pointless to keep comparing with other children about academic studies, appearance, wealth, etc. There are always people out there better than us. It’s an endless, unhealthy competition. How will a child ever enjoy his childhood if all he does at all times is just to attend all kinds of courses just to be better than others? It is not wrong to go for enrichment classes but it should not be forced on a child even if he does not show potential in those areas. Character development is essential. Ultimately, look at the children nowadays. More students excel in their studies and the environment gets very harsh. It’s no longer a big deal that they excel in studies, music and other areas. How does a child stand out and survive it all despite changing harsh environment? That is when character development plays a big part. With healthy attitude and approach towards life and people, a person will stand upright despite storms from time to time in life. And, this starts from young where all parents and educators play important roles in shaping these children into future leaders or adults with sense of responsibility, care and integrity with healthy ego and self esteem.  

Maha Bodhi School’s teaching is based heavily on Buddhist teaching. I am not a Buddhist but I do observe most students from that school seem to behave well. The two kids staying a few units away from us turn out well. They know how to respect people. I have seen enough spoilt brats from workplaces, churches and schools in my life. They may excel in their studies and careers but they go around hurting people just to get what they want. It’s either their ways or no ways. Some of them are even proud of the monsters they have turned out to be to others. I really wonder what they have been taught since young. People are cursing them behind them. Though a Catholic, I believe what goes around comes around. In other term, it is known as karma. If they don’t change their unhealthy or destructive ways, it won’t be long before the negative consequences catch up with them. I do get to see how they have suffered in the end. The sad thing is innocent people get hurt by them in the process. I do not see how ‘good’ luck these irresponsible or arrogant people can be for long with curses from people. One must never get arrogant or take people or things for granted as I will never know when I need these very people whom I have hurt or condemned. One’s downfall can be as easy as being struck by one major illness to wake him up that life is fragile and all will be gone with death. No amount of wealth or high status can leave with that person.  

My mum shared with me last night a speech delivered by a monk who conducted the ballot. He questioned what parents asked their children the first thing they entered the house from school. Was it about how well they had done in school?  Or out of genuine concern for their children’s well being, they asked if their children were happy in school. He talked about the most important thing about education is a child’s development and well being. I agree with him. Suicidal rates are getting higher over years. Some of my friends chose that path of no return. It is a fact that more people are doing well in academic studies or career. But, how do we make sure that these children are ready for such harsh environment or even to improve on current situation so that the children will not end up taking their own lives or landing themselves in a mental institute or jail. It all boils down to character development. If the foundation is set right from young, a person will have the healthy attitude or approach towards life and people with healthy self esteem and ego. He will learn to be a wise and strong person to survive any environment.  We cannot change others but we can always change ourselves and how we respond to situations.


I am very happy for my godson that he is blessed with a good school. It is a positive start for him next year as he steps into a primary school for his formal education. I give all my blessings for him to get good education and do well in life as a blessing to others. For my role as his godmother, I will continue to educate him and impart moral values to him while having fun with him for him to know that he is loved whenever he comes to my house. Ultimately, it is not about winning the world that matters. The true winner is one who gets better and better as time passes and a blessing to others.  

With Love,
Elena

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