I love falling in love with Love. It's a wonderful feeling to fall in love with Love again and again which is beyond description. Who is this Love? He is none other than my Heavenly Father. I tend to drift in and out of many things and groups which can be beyond my awareness most of the time. No matter how far I drift away, He will always pursue me no matter what. Even when I am outside the church, He will never fail to care for me through people and His Word through the scriptures. I often wonder how many people can love without setting any conditions to it?
God has loved me so much that He had sent His very beloved Son to die for all sinners though Jesus is without any blemish!! With the obedience that Jesus has out of Love for God and the people, He was willing to go through the torture and humiliation at all levels as a human being like anyone of us and through death, He conquered death and resurrected so that this Hope out of the resurrection through death to self can continue to live forever and ever for all of us. It is very evident in the sacraments that I have to go through as a child of God, especially where I am forgiven again and again through the Sacrament of Reconciliation for me to draw closer to God and community as long as I am truly sorry for my sins and repent. God's mercy is infinite because love starts with forgiving 'seventy time seven times'. That means God loves me no matter how worthless or bad I think I may be. The parable of the prodigal son explains how God welcomes any of His children who have sinned and are truly repentant for his sins.
Are any sins greater than God? The answer is 'No' as long as one is willing to repent. The grace of God is ever present to forgive us is through the always available Sacrament of Reconciliation. Pope John Paul II forgave his assassin who tried to take his life away. How about me? Am I willing to forgive others who have wronged me in any ways? Frankly speaking, I find it difficult at times. I really feel like slapping some people at times and yet I know that this is not Christ way of loving. Love requires the courage and the expansion of heart to love and accept again despite the potential exposure to get hurt again. Such courage and generosity to love again and again is only possible from the infinite grace of God. When I start to judge, I also have to look at myself. If God can forgive me, why am I still holding on to grudges towards the others? I have to remove the 'beam' from my eyes before I even attempt to remove the 'splinter' from the others. If I start judging people without realizing that I, too, sin from time to time, I will become self righteous and have the danger of putting others down and take things within my control. I may even impose my principles and judgement on the others and hurt them even deeper or take actions in the name of just to retaliate. This may result in the many poilitics we see everywhere, even in church settings with individuals against individuals or groups against groups, leading to spiritual murder and death ultimately. Do we feel very drained after fighting against one another for a long time? Yes!! Why? It is an indication that we are bleeding spiritually and going to spiritual death from such bleeding. So, why fight?
Sometimes, when I love, I set some conditions on it. One instance is only when you are rich, do well in your career, follow my ways of doing things or no way, etc., I will 'love' you. Is that really love? That is just a transaction where one thing is in exchange for another according to what I want. That is according to my will. I am playing God. Does God do that to us? The answer is 'No!'. Jesus has ever excliamed before,' Only the sick need the physician.' In fact, He had sent His Son down to our level to die for our sins. Our dirty blood from sins is renewed from time to time with Jesus' blood of Love through the Eucharistic celebration. Not only that, we have the luxury of receiving Jesus Christ again and again through the Sacrament of Eucharist. I have to admit that I am a sinner through and through. And yet, despite my many times of getting out of church, God still pursues me no matter where I go to go back to Him. He speaks to me through people, biblical scriptures, etc. Which other gods will do that to his/her people? Other gods may come in the forms of money, fame, fortune, etc. Will you be pursuing them hard or they pursue you? If I can be tired from time to time to pursue these gods, how about God who pursues me for Love?
From my previous workplace, it is rather sad to hear from some parents that they only 'love' their children when they have achieved certain awards or got into prestigous schools or get what the parents want. If those children have failed to do so, these parents may even feel that it is a disgrace to talk about them. How do they feel? What are they? Are they really treasure as who they are? Or are they tools for these parents to fulfil their prides or dreams that these parents might not have achieved in their past? How will these children feel as they are growing up? Will they feel that they are loved with unconditional love? How will they view God? Most of the time, how we see God will be how we view our parents. If our parents punish us once we are done wrong, we may have the view that God is a punishing God who will punish me once I have sinned. Such views will change only when they experience true love from others or their parents change their ways of loving.
How about me? How is my relationship with God? Do I love Him only when He does things according to what I want? When things don't go my way, do I say He does not love me and and I abandon Him? Is that even love at all? I think I see myself as greater than God if I ask God to do things according to what I want and if it is not fulfilled, I abandon Him and conclude that He does not love me. Just as the rings are the token of love exchanged between two married partners, the crucifix is the token of God's love for me. It is a sacrificial love for such as sinner like me that no words can describe. Whenever I am misundertsood or accused or hurt, suffer in any ways, I know I am closer to Jesus as he was misunderstood, accused, tortured at all levels and even died. He knows what I am going through and go through them all with me. He is there in my loneliness with me which no any person can take my place in carrying the various crosses in my life. This loneliness is the gap where God is filling. Sometimes, when I feel lonely in suffering, it does not mean that I am alone. It just means that I should spend my quiet time with God for Him to fill that space. He is always there no matter what. It is my free will to choose to run to Him or drift further away from him to other gods.
With Love,
Elena
No comments:
Post a Comment