Happy Birthday, mummy! May you enjoy peace in the arms of
the Lord in Love! 18 years have passed since the last time I see you. Hope you
are joining the angels and saints singing joyfully in heaven.
Who is this mummy I am referring to? She is not my biological
mother. She was my Sec 1 form tutor. If not for her, I will not be around
today. Many students and teachers thought that I saw her as my idol during
school days. I did not bother to explain. Frankly speaking, I have never had
any idols in my life, not even during my school days. Little did anyone know
that I was going through hardship which was too much for me to handle at the
age of 13 and mummy was that angel who stood by me through my ups and downs
till she was called home to be with the Lord. She appeared when I needed a
motherly figure the most. Life was at its toughest when God sent her into my
life. She gave me hope and reshaped my values. She taught me what was right and
wrong. She forgave me again and again no matter how I had angered and hurt her
even to the point of affecting her health. She would be attentive and appeared
when I needed someone. No matter how much shit I was facing from home and
school, I knew I could always turn to her and she would always be there for me.
She looked into my needs and thought through how she could best support and
even provide for me. Most of all, no matter how I had hurt her or how willful and
wayward I was, she never gave up on me even right to the point of her death.
Even after her death, I enjoyed her legacy which I term as the legacy of Love.
She was my role model of my faith. She brought me to the Catholic Church where
I was baptized in the end. I know I can
never do anything for her but to continue to pass her kindness on to others and
share her undying love with the others. She also taught me to reach out to help
the less fortunate people and not to be too self absorbed and self centered. So,
whatever help or kindness I render to others, all the credits go to her.
During this period of time, I am very grateful towards
people around me who helped me in little ways. Though they may think the help
is not much, to me, it means a lot. For this whole week, I was so busy that I
only had one meal per day. I was exhausted to the point of my brain shutting
down when it was 6plus in the evening daily as I worked non stop after I had
reached the office due to a project. My ankle condition limits my mobility in
certain ways and causes a lot of frustration and pain. What did not help was
some people thought it was easy for me to just sit there for volunteers to do
the jobs when I was already feeling so drained and in pain running around. Before
I started work yesterday, I confided in God that I did not know how to continue
with such strenuous project having to move boxes of books, a lot of arrangement
to be made on top of my daily work, obstacles kept coming up and a lot of
walking around which did not help my ankle recovery. God
heard my prayers. A volunteer asked me how I could manage with my ankle
condition and boxes of books to be sorted and packed. I just smiled and said I
would just do my best. I was thinking to myself, I just have to go to the
office and clear them over the weekend. After her break, she brought two of her
colleagues to help out. In the end, they cleared all the books for the week. Deep
in me, I was asking how. I was very grateful. During this week, I was very
touched by various people. Some asked me if they could buy my lunch for me
since I could not go out to eat. I appreciate every volunteer who took out
their precious time to help out with this project. My boss told me I could go out to eat during
lunchtime when the volunteers were helping out. But, how could a person in
charge disappear leaving the volunteers doing the jobs during lunchtime? If
they had questions, who could they ask? If they messed up, who had to clear up
the mess in the end? I also have to make sure all my volunteers do not injure themselves. They are also part of my responsibilities since I am the project officer. It's really no fun to have injured back. Every step you walk kills. Sorry, I just could not leave my volunteers alone. It’s
about professionalism. I believe in we are all in it together for the love of
the children.
I am very drained physically as I am low in blood pressure during
this period of time and my ankle has been in pain, especially when the weather
is cold. I have been so drained during working hours that I was too tired to have full meals. The only full meal I had was dinner when I forced myself to eat. At the end of the working week, my back is killing me as I have mild scoliosis
and will be in pain from the repeated motion of bending down to count the books
and carry heavy boxes which could be bigger than me. Even my doctor laughed at
me for being a ‘hero’ trying to carrying boxes with my thin frame. From
professional perspective, my pay and position do not justify what I am doing
now. People may think I am silly as if I can get promoted with this project. I don’t
care what others think. I just give my best. Instead of lamenting, I change my
mentality. It’s like running marathon. Now, I am using mind over body to
continue with the project until all books are transported on next Wednesday. I
keep counting down that I have gone through 5 days of it. I just need to go
through another 3 more days. It’s not about me. It’s about the children in South
Africa who do not have the luxury like us to have books available to us. I
strongly believe in knowledge empowering a person. As much as I can, I do not
want anyone to end up like me not having education high enough and thus, have
limited career prospects which affect my income and ability to support my
family. I just hope that these books will bring joy and knowledge to the
children in South Africa and their quality of life will be better. It is also
my way of continuing mummy’s legacy of empowering the children through
education. It’s about giving hope to these children and showing they are not
forgotten and we care though we may be many miles away from them.
With Love,
Elena
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